#genuinely one of the funniest jokes in that whole movie and it was so under appreciated

[dizzycycl0ne]

“what’d you stuff for her, mr johnson?” “that wasn’t funny mike” uhh i beg to differ sam that was funny as fuck

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

Okay! What the fuck!

If you are enthusiastically fond about 1. Capital B BAD movies and 2. The weird western/gore horror genres, I would recommend this. If you do not like those things I would under no circumstances recommend this. I got really squicked out by some of the gore (character whose whole thing is lip horror? Apparently not something I like!) But anyways:

opened with credits for 3 movie studios I've never heard of

bizarre worldbuilding intro monologue

ah just a chill shot of someone carrying buckets of water across this forbidding landscape PSYCHE IT'S BLOOD! fucking love that. that's weird! why is there so much blood! what the fuck is happening! Oh look the main character shows up with a dead body and then starts whacking it with an axe!

obligatory rape flashback that is in 90% of westerns!

what the fuck is happening in this movie ever at any time!

OOOHHHH GOD THE GORE! FUCK! maybe this is not the movie for me a person who cringes too easily at injuries actually!

16 minutes in I continue to have no idea what is happening but there is a very fun dancer & arrested criminal character, and a very funny slashfic potential line where one (1) of the criminals, a cute long haired blond guy, gets rescued and she goes "what's a girl gotta do to get rescued around here?" (she will continue not being rescued throughout the movie until eventually all the bad guys are coincidentally murdered away from her so I guess that's something. It's like a running gag? I don't know? Is it supposed to be a joke? Subversion? What is going on here?) There's a guy trying to sell snake oil who gets shot. (Or was that someone else?) There's an old man who stares.

Tell you what I don't usually like too much religion in my stories in any direction but I do kinda like all the weird evil fucked up priests. More my thing than "God is real and we are good at our jobs actually" priests. I don't think they were actually priests? I can't tell. what is happening ever

Genuinely WHAT the hell is happening ever in this movie

Oh this is a CULT cult. Everyone is white and blond and dressed in white. Don't like that! Don't like any of that!

Huh this guy's spurs have teeth on them? OH THIS GUY HAS NO SKIN

25 minutes in we've had so very much plot. What the FUCK is going on

This feels like 15 different stories taking place in the same fucked up weird western universe

Oh my God the zombie growling sounds so fake. GRUAAGH!

Mannnn this movie is fucking bizarre. I understand less after the backstory. Also for a movie starring Wesley Snipes there are not many other Black actors. Like he's providing most of the melanin aside from his mothers and a guy with two seconds of screen time. For a moment I thought there was another Black character but it turned out to be Wesley Snipes with a dramatically different look in the flashback, which I thought was over and we were back in the present but actually we were still in the flashback and that was just our same regular guy but bald and with body paint?

The main villain is obsessed with skinning people and slapping their skin onto his deathless regenerative body and he has some fucking hysterical lines, oh my God.

Still unrescued girl @ bad guy: "you freak!" "I get that a lot"

*sarcastically bad approximation of the sign of the cross* "forgive me Father, for I have skinned." GOD. Funniest line. What the fuck. Redeems the whole movie for me.

"you never forget the man who kills you for the first time. First time is always special."

Someone brings up the severed head of one of his men who Wesley Snipes' character killed and beheaded to try to keep him from coming back to life and he looks at the twitching head and goes "what, does the rest of him come in monthly deliveries?"

What fucking relationship does Wesley Snipes have with the butcher lady who raised him. They've just stared at each other so far. Oh thank God they're speaking! A conversation! Wait he doesn't think she can fight bc she has one injured finger? Didn't stop fucking Lee Van Cleef!??? Or stop this character from chopping up whole cows?? I get wanting to protect his adoptive mother figure but not "a single one of your fingers is missing you clearly cannot fight" huh??

Oh thank God 50 minutes into the movie people are talking. And the weird stuff that was going on is starting to make sense. A little. Still. What in the goddamn!

Cute scene with the.. apprentice? Sidekick? dude he'd picked up and the butcher's kid throwing rocks together.

Wesley Snipes shooting a rifle that makes people's heads explode like bloody watermelons dropped off the top of an apartment building!

OH COME ON! the mother has a singular badass moment where she picks up her meat chopping machete that she has a proficiency bonus in using to join in the fight and is IMMEDIATELY KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS!

Aggdcdcvscdd the sidekick gets impaled through the torso and does a clearly enunciated almost bored sounding UAAAAAHGH! It sounds like he's finding out he guessed wrong on a game show.

EPIC RIFF WHEN WESLEY SNIPES APPEARS TO DEFEND HIS FAMILY. WITH A WHIP! And then FIST FIGHTS an epic hulking masked monster creature.

Oh there was a cut and he was suddenly in a slightly different position in the middle of a fight scene agscfscgszf

Huh. The abattoir equipment that we saw handling a huge cow no problem just collapses like a house of cards from the monster guy being on it.

Haha I like Wesley Snipes using the abattoir to his advantage, he did learn a trade, as he said!

Man he's. Really the brooding asshole antagonist huh. As is tradition.

Oh my God he rolls down a sand dune like Blondie in The Good the Bad and the Ugly! Except it's a fucking long ass steep sand dune and he's just tumbling head over heels for multiple shots lol

OH MY GOD THEY DID A FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE? LIKE VERY EXPLICITLY. WITH THE BOY SHOWING UP WITH A RIFLE TO MAKE THE VILLAIN BACK OFF AND GIVING WESLEY SNIPES HIS HOLSTER.

"I thought you wanted me dead." "Well, dead ain't what it used to be."

Okay! Huh. Kind of anticlimactic. The curse has not been remedied, the sisters who keep the secrets of life and death never showed up except Aman's mother in brief flashbacks, they DO get to their weird temple under the mountains but it's empty? And it's sort of pop-culture-Egyptian mythology themed? There were like. Fucking zodiac symbols on the pillars? What the fuck is going on in this movie ever!

Okay cool parts: -Wesley Snipes uses a whip -gore if you like that

Otherwise? ??? idk man. bizarre experience. glad I finished it bc I was so surprised by the For a Few Dollars More reference. We love to see it. Wesley Snipes, whose character's name is Aman and we are only told this in the credits, sees that the kid is bleeding to death and shoots him, knowing that his curse will resurrect the kid as an undead. You're welcome. He then walks off offering zero explanation.

The villain was interesting--he was on a quest to resurrect his boy, whose mummified body he dragged around with him. The others had all been shot by Aman on his revenge mission and therefore resurrected by his curse. However, the boy, who had seemed conflicted about participating in the gang rape of Aman's lover that set off the revenge quest, had already hanged himself out of remorse; thus he was not killed by Aman and not resurrected through the curse. This drove the villain absolutely bonkers and he was trying to find a way to resurrect his kid so he could be evil undead with the rest of them, something the kid almost certainly would not have wanted. That was fascinating!

I'm still not sure what was going on with the cult. Who were they? What was their deal? Why were all of them blond?? They got taken over, violently, by the villain, who was even more explicitly racially creepy. He comments that a character he's planning on skinning could have been fairer (she is very white) and asks "What breed" her father was. Oooh I'm glad he got shot by a Black man, which I'm sure was what they were going for.

But we haven't solved the root issue of the curse that keeps them coming back! Does Aman just.. chop them all up and scatter them, offscreen? and that's... good enough, this time, although it canonically didn't work before? what.

What the fuck! What the fuck. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ A deranged person wrote this (compliment). It does not cohere especially well but if you like this specific Vibe with like, edgy 2012 horror with lots of bones. Loved the dollars trilogy references but I think making Aman so so much of a noncommunicative asshole does not add to the movie. You gotta do it right to pull that off and the character trope is still perhaps overrated (I say as someone who does love the dollars trilogy I will admit.) but like. He's just evasive for no reason. Also what was that one shot where he had like.. he was gripping a bone so hard that it dug into his hand I think? What was that? it just cut away and. poof nevermind that he's shooting with the hand a moment later. Why? what? WHY COULD A BLEEDING PALM INJURY BE NOT EVEN A SLIGHT HINDRANCE FOR HIM BUT HE THINKS HIS MOTHER CAN'T FIGHT BECAUSE SHE IS MISSING ONE SINGLE FINGER.

I have to stop talking about this. Yeah! My curiosity has been slaked. I almost did not finish this. my God. that certainly was... a movie? huh.

well I'm done lookinng at this post or thinking about it so I'm gonna hit post! if anyone was curious : .... yeah.

Ohhhh my God I've never bought a thrift store DVD that I so intensely wanted to immediately watch and I won't have time until after this conservation corps hitch! The ratings are abysmal I am expecting BAD good extremely enjoyable movie! It's a horror/western about a cursed gunslinger pursued by everyone he's killed! Godddd and this is just a bit too late for this year's trick or treat exchange nominations! The VIBES!!

[cherrycheridarling]

"that was painfully sexist" | t.h.

marvel cast x actress!reader

warnings: sexism and swearing

summary: at a panel for the new avenger's film, the questions differ drastically between the female and male actors on stage.

wc: 1.4k

"Okay, a microphone is coming your way, sir."

"Hi! I'm Leonard with Pop Times Blog. My question is for Y/N." your eyes found the bearded man who stood amongst the crowd of reporters.

You nodded, signalling for him to continue, "Playing Silk or Cindy Moon must've came with a lot of challenges. One of them being the costume you are in for most of the film. Can you speak about that and how it fit?" he paused at your skeptical expression, "Like, we all know the suit is skin tight, so did you eat anything special or workout a lot and are you able to wear anything underneath it? Or do you wear a thong and no bra?"

You let out an unenthusiastic chuckle at his question. Beside you, you could hear your cast mates scoffing under their breath. It was common for the women of the MCU to get asked such questions and it saddened you that people normalized such a thing.

Leaning forward, you clasped your hands together and smiled before Robert reached behind Tom Holland and tapped your shoulder, "Would you like me to say something?"

You shook your head, but gave him a grateful grin before returning to the 'man' that asked you such a question, while maintaining eye contact you spoke, "Well, I think the most difficult part about wearing the Silk costume is taking it off after a long day because of how sweaty I get after shooting," you began to fan yourself dramatically, "It all just clings to my body like a second skin and since I am completely nude underneath, it just adds to the problem." sarcasm dripped from your lips as your cast mates snickered at your words.

You quietly laughed to yourself, "I'm only kidding. That question seemed like such a joke that I presumed you expected a joking answer." you cleared your throat, "In all seriousness, it's an honour wearing the suit and I did visit the gym and do some physical fitness regularly to prepare for the role, as did all my cast mates. As for what I wore underneath," you grinned cheekily, having too much fun messing with the reporter, "A Spider-Man onesie was my go-to."

The whole room let out laughs at your words as Tom grabbed your hand and gave you a small squeeze, feeling sorry that you had to answer such absurd questions.

"I hope everyone doesn't sexualize Cindy Moon. She's only a teenager in the film, so keep it in your pants people. That shit is illegal." Anthony pointed an accusing finger at the crowd.

"Thank you for your thoughtful question, Leonard!" Scarlett spoke up, "I hope you got the answer you were looking for."

"Okay, next person."

You sat back in your seat and fiddled with Tom's fingers as the questions were asked towards your cast mates.

"You handled that impressively well, love." Tom whispered in your ear.

You gave him a smile and a shrug before your name got called again, "My question is for Y/N and Tom Holland." a lady with curly blonde hair stood up, "Since Silk and Spider-Man's abilities are very similar, did you two bond over that during shooting or did it cause some rivalry between your characters due to the similarities?"

You felt a wave of relief at the question, thankful that it wasn't another sexist one. Tom looked at you before answering.

"Yeah, yeah. We bonded a lot over that fact and I don't think it caused any rivalry between us. I hope not." he chuckled before you leaned towards the mic.

"No, no. No rivalry. Just a lot of banter about whose character is stronger and who swings around better. It's a lot of fun having someone on set whose stunts are basically the same as yours. And Tom and I have both agreed that Silk is faster and better than Spider-Man." you said that last part quickly drawing laughs and a gasp from Tom.

He looked at you incredulously, "Not true! Spider-Man's suit is so much cooler than Silk's." he huffed like a child.

You smirked, "Who makes their webbing in a high school chemistry class and who has organic silk coming out of her fingertips that she also used to create her own suit?"

Your friends laughed at the banter beside you before Sebastian started to speak, "I have to agree with Y/N on this one. Silk also has that cool ass eidetic memory."

Chris Evans agreed, "And her Silk Sense is a thousand times stronger than Spider-Man's Spidey Sense."

"Isn't she able to know who an attacker is before she even sees them?" Hemsworth asked to which everyone nodded.

"Sorry, Spidey. Silk's just a top tier hero." Robert patted his shoulder as Tom sulked.

The questions began again as the laughter died down. You leaned over to Tom's ear, "Still love the actor who plays Spider-Man even if his character is inferior to mine." he shook his head with a smile at your words.

Questions ranged from the generic ones of the funniest moments on set to who's most likely to become a villain. Your nerves died down as no incompetent person asked another sexist question. Until one did.

"I have a question for Y/N." she was short with jet black hair, "Being around all these attractive men must be a challenge for you as a young female adult. It couldn't have been easy to control yourself around them. Have you had any sexual relationships with any of them or thought about engaging in any?"

Your jaw hung open at her words and before you could muster up a retort, Tom let his anger get the best of him. Was it his anger, his jealousy or his protectiveness? A mix of all three.

"That was painfully sexist." he spoke into the microphone. "I don't see how any of that is relevant to the film. Y/N is an outstanding actress and it's outrageous that you decide to focus on who she fucks rather than her talent."

"What in the actual fuck did she just ask?" Sebastian added, making you laugh.

Chris Evans spoke up next, "Indeed. I thought this was a promotion for the movie not a real life dating app."

Benedict chuckled, "I fail to see how Y/N's private life holds any relevancy to this panel or the film itself."

"It's twenty-nineteen, people! Leave your sexist ass shit at home!" Anthony exclaimed drawing claps from the cast.

Elizabeth shook her head, "I've had my fair share of inappropriate questions, but nothing as horrid as that."

"First y'all ask about her underwear, now you ask about her sex life? Jesus Christ." Scarlett pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Seriously, she's like a daughter to me. That was incredibly disrespectful." Robert added with a disappointed head shake.

Similar comments were added by the rest of the cast as you felt an overwhelming amount of love wash over you. You were so unimaginably grateful for the people next to you.

"You don't have to answer that." Paul Bettany reminded you.

You shook your head and cleared your throat, "Thank you, guys." you looked to your cast mates, "But I'll answer. No, I have not. This cast is my second family and I've grown greatly as a person with them. I'm immensely thankful for the opportunity to call them my friends. And I agree, these men sitting up here with me are undoubtedly attractive, but they are also a great pain in the ass at times," everyone laughed at your choice of words, "And have I thought about having sex with any of them? Nope. Just Scar, Zoe and Liz." you finished with a wink as the room clapped for you.

You couldn't help but to feel a slight bit of sympathy for the woman. Her question was, without a doubt, uncalled for and unbelievably sexist, but the comments from the cast must've made this her most embarassing moment.

"I'm sure you meant no harm with your question. But a little heads up for next time; most actors prefer to talk about their career and their films rather than who they are laying in bed with. But thank you for coming out. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day." you gave her a genuine smile as she cowered back into her seat.

Robert once again reached over and gave your shoulder a squeeze, proud of how you handled the situation.

Tom interlaced your fingers with his and rubbed small circles on your knuckles.

You really were at home with these people and you couldn't have asked for a better family.

[back2themax]

Gushing over the goonies- semi review?

Originally I was going to make this my usual full on review, which have been lacking lately and that’s on me. However it’s not the first time I’ve seen the movie, the first time had to be over 10 years ago when I was extremely young, so Instead here’s me just gushing about how freaking amazing it is.

Genuinely funny-

This movie is just the funniest thing I’ve seen in awhile. Honestly comedy in older movies is completely unrivaled, I like my lack of feral kids and the oldest ™️ (turns out brand was 16 shsksksksk).  without a doubt I think the best scene in the whole movie is

Chunk describing the Fratelli’s to the Fratelli’s and the light kicks on, he starts singing in Hebrew under his breath, the one starts Italian opera singing and this kid loses his fucking mind. It shouldn’t have made me laugh half as hard as it did but holy shit

It had good physical comedy, great lines and jokes. Like the repeating gag of Mikey mixing up words and brand correcting him and the same thing happening with their mother. Smart humor, dumb humor , semi slap stick. It has everything and I adore it, here’s a few lines I wrote down because they’re great

“It’s my moms most favorite piece!” “You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t-.” “Shut up mouth!”

Mouth using his Spanish skills for evil

“Shit ,ma”

“I cannot believe you actually have something this cool in your house”

“Here hold this” to chunk

“Well, it took them a couple of weeks... but they caught up to em.”

“No sir she’s down at the market buying pampers for all us kids”

“And never get their balls out!”

“Oh god am I depressed!”*shoots whip cream directly in mouth*

“You’ve got to learn to exercise like a normal person”

“It’s gone stiff!” *ALL SCREAM*

Just the “yea, that’s what I said” gag

Martian sheen

“This is the MENS room”

The sets the atomsphere! -

Oh my god just, the sets in this movie is amazing. The neighborhood alone I get such a feel for everyone, like how buildings reflect personality and kinda how people are sort of thing? How the houses are all together creating a close knit group. Just the beautiful scenery of outside and then the just the underground. The tunnels , the waterfall , the pirate ship cave is just so stunning? They didn’t need to go half as hard as they did

Relationships-

It has just the dynamics, the dynamics are golden. I like how the relationships are very real and life like and not the overly friendly weirdly chummy thing you see in a lot of movies? Like they’ll all In unison call you a dumbass but it’s clear your loved etc. Also the major major props that Brand and Mikey act like actually freaking siblings. Which I also gave that props to Sam and Micheal Emerson in the lost boys. As honestly a lot of movies have siblings way to friendly and chill, where’s my get in a huge fight only to later be hanging out with each other, no apologies or hugging it out just instantaneously back to normal.

Also what was the weird thing going on with Mouth and stef? There’s definitely more there but I feel like there’s a few scenes or something we’re missing?



Charecters -

COREY WEBSTER FROM THRASHIN’ ?!

I love brand even more no. He’s always been my favorite but now he’s my extra favorite. Sjsksksksksk

Also I would like to   publicly apologize to data for calling him Shorty the whole movie. It’s the same actor ok

[quillsareswords]

could u do a damian wayne x reader where the reader is a titan and damian and her are friends and where the reader has a really crooked smile and crooked teeth and damian just adores it but the reader hates it because everyone makes jokes about it even though they’re just kidding she’s just really insecure like maybe a fellow titan makes a joke about it and damian defends her

Thank you for requesting! This is written by someone who two snagle teeth that sit more like tusks that I despise, so I get where we're coming from here 😔

Prompt List • Masterlist (in bio)

He's always liked your smile. Yeah, it's lopsided and looks more like something torn straight from an evil swamp witch in a storybook, but he adores it.

He loves it because it's yours. Trademark yours. Nobody in the world has a smile exactly like yours. He loves it because it means you're happy. It isn't something torn from a billboard and slapped across someone's face—it's your happiness, in all its realistic and lifelike glory. Nothing any orthodontist can recreate.

He remembers when you first joined the Titans. Barely two weeks after he did, himself. You'd smiled broadly back then, laughing openly at his quips and jokes too dark for you to repeat.

After so long spent around rich people with perfect teeth and catered smiles, your crooked grin stole his heart right out from under him. He hadn't noticed at first, when his heart toppled into your hands: he was too busy admiring your mouth and wondering what'd it could feel like against his.

It took a long time for him to come to terms with his feelings for you. Years, actually. But even while he was trying desperately to suppress an emotional attachment that ran much deeper that just your smile, he couldn't deny himself the pleasure of seeing it. He continued hissing comments in the middle of meetings and pinpointing the things you thought were funniest, cutes, sweetest. Anything to earn a smile.

Unfortunately, he suspects not everybody felt the same glimmering warmth that came with your smile. At the years dragged on, your grin shrank. It was gradual at first, fewer and farther between, until one day they stopped altogether. No more teeth peeking out between the break in your lips. You still smiled plenty, at all his jokes and barbed comebacks, but never showing any teeth. Close-lipped smiles only. When you laughed, it was with a hand or wrist over your mouth. No teeth.

It was late, the night he asked about it. You were sixteen, and he'd given up on shoving away emotions. He still refused to admit anything to you, but he'd allow himself to call you a close friend—one of his two best friends (not that he'd ever said that to your face). It was in San Francisco, and you were laying beside him on the roof of Titan Tower.

You were chuckling still chuckling about watching Beat Boy spurt fruit punch put of his nose when Raven kissed his cheek on a dare (your dare, simply because you wanted to see how hard you could get her to blush).

He was staring up at what stars could be seen through the city's light pollution. He was smiling and listening, but he was only really paying you half his attention. He was thinking about the pictures you'd been in throughout the night, the close-lipped smiles, the hands covering your laughter. That one time you covered your mouth again because you couldn't help grinning at him from across the room as he deadpanned, listening to Dick drawl on about celebrating the successful mission you'd all completed the night before.

He let's your chuckling die down before he rolls his face toward you. "Can I ask you something?"

You look his way, an uncovered, tooth-flashing smile still settled across your mouth, though it starts to fade at the seriousness in his tone.

You still smile for him. Just him.

"Why do you cover your mouth when you laugh?"

Your smile becomes lopsided. You aren't totally sure how to react, and it's written across your face, despite trying to play it off. "What?"

"When you laugh, you cover your mouth with your hand," he reiterates. "And you don't smile around people like you used to."

Your smile droops again. You turn away, to face the stars again. "I dunno. I just do."

He knows there's something else, but he's learned to recognize when you don't want to talk about something. He wants to press you, he wants to figure out what the problem is so he can fix it. Hedyfix all your problems, if he could.

He shoves the thought away before it advances on as to why. "How many Titans can pass out in one room?"

You recognize the tone he uses specifically for a joke. You're already starting to smile. "I dunno, how many?"

"Let's go back inside and find out."

It's a good week afterward that he finally gets his answers. You're sandwiched between him and Raven, focused more on the movie than Beast Boy trying to get Cyborg to spit out his mouth full of water. Some bet they'd made, you've gathered. Why they'd chosen a horror movie is beyond you.

Damian's got more out of you that Garfield has gotten out of his target so far, and it's already halfway through the movie. Raven even giggled at the few she overheard.

It's all fun and games, until Garfield looks up at the screen, and barks out a laugh from the other side of Raven. "Look, it's (Y/N)!"

He's referring to the clown on the screen. The original Pennywise. With rotten, crooked teeth and a chilling grin that probably made kids cry.

Damian rolls his eyes and scoffs. He turns toward you to snicker something about Gar projecting his own issues, but stops cold when he sees the look on your face.

Your eyes are still on the movie, but they're unfocused and your face is twisted with hurt. You try to wipe the expression away when you realize he's looking.

Oh. That's the problem. He should have guessed. Suppose he was too caught up in his own opinion to really consider what any ignorant rodent might think or say about you.

Cyborg groans something, completely unintelligible with a mouthful of water, but it sounds like it was supposed to be scolding. Raven doesn't seem to have heard it.

There are tears in your eyes when you absently scratch the side of your arm and stand up. "I'll be back," you brush off with a forced half smile that's meant to look playful, but comes off pained. You make for the kitchen too quickly to be subtle.

Damian watches you go, but his attention hones on Garfield the moment your out of sight. The green boy is still staring questioningly at Cy's glare when Damian whacks him with the remote.

He swears, reaching up to rub where the hard plastic made contact, turning to tell Damian off and to make him pick up the batteries that came flying out, but Damian's on him first.

"Looks like (L/N), does it?" he growls, jerking his head toward the paused imagine. "Are you always this idiotic or just an asshole?"

Damian watches the confusion turn to pained understanding as he looks between Pennywise and a very angry ex-assassin.

Cyborg spits his water back into the cup on the table. "Dude, come on. That was such a dick thing to say..."

Damian doesn't sit around for the rest. He shoulders the kitchen door open with an empty glass in hand.

You're staring into the yellow light of the microwave, listening to popcorn kernels pop, with your back to him and tour hands braced against the counter.

He hesitates by the door, steps forward suddenly slow and unsure. He glances the sink, remembers the glass, and makes for the faucet. He doesn't want to make it terribly obvious that he knows you're upset, for fear of upsetting you further.

"You shouldn't stand in front of the microwave like that," he grumbles, twisting on the cold water. "Radiation, and all that."

You don't reply. Forty five seconds left on the timer.

He sighs. He pulls his glass from the sink and switches off the water. He leaves the half-full dish on the counter.

You feel his hand on your shoulder without hearing him move. Your head jerks toward him reflexively, but you're quick to turn back to the microwave.

Not quick enough to hide unshed tears and red rimmed eyes.

His hand slides down to your shoulder blade. "Hey. Look at me."

"I'm fine," you mumble, shaking your head dismissively. "I'll be back in a second, just wanted–"

"(Y/N)." His voice is soft in your ears, softer still on an emotional wound. "Look at me."

You release a deep breath, steeling yourself as best you can. His hand is warm on your back, and all you can think about is how badly you want to be held by him. You drop one hand from the counter and turn.

His hand glides with your movement, resting now on your arm. "It was a stupid joke. He's going to apologize. He didn't mean it."

You consider faking another smile and brushing it all off, but you can't seem to bring yourself to do it. Instead, you take a new interest in his shoes. "He wasn't wrong."

"He was." There's enough conviction in his voice to draw your eyes back to his. "He's said enough dumb things to convince mute man glad to be, but that was possibly one of the stupidest."

You chuckle, despite yourself. "That's an awful joke to make," you scold. Still the corners of your lips are tilting upward.

"I know," he admits. "But I'll tell an even worse one if it means you'll smile for me."

Your face falls slack. Eyes wide, surprised.

His free hand finds your other arm. "You have the happiest smile I've ever seen, (Y/N). You don't have to look like a orthodontic aligners commercial to have the prettiest smile in any room. And if anyone tells you otherwise, I'll knock their incisors out."

You've got tears in your eyes again, but your wobbling bottom lip is still tilling toward the ceiling. You sniffle once, shuffling forward just enough to wrap he your arms around him.

His arms come up around you like they've been waiting his whole life for you. And the way you fit against him so perfectly, he wonders if they have.

You bury your face in his shoulder. "Thank you," you mumble against his shirt. "Nobody's ever said that about my smile before."

"No one?" He sounds genuinely surprised, and your body gently shakes hon his arms and you chuckle again.

You pull away slowly, but you can't convince yourself to step away just yet. He doesn't seem to mind, arms still so secure around you. "No. But I shouldn't be surprised," you smile again, wider, "considering you're the only person I've never felt so self conscious around."

He smiles right back. "Good. I couldn't stand it if you tried to hide from me like you do everyone else."

Your teeth disappear again, but it's not behind tight lips and self conscious dread. It's something soft, made solely for him. "No. I don't think I could hide it from you if I tried."

He doesn't remember who moved first. If it was your hands on his cheeks or his arms around your waist, or who leaned and who met them halfway. All he does remember is how many times he imagined tour lips against his, and how many times he'd guessed it all right.

[monkey-network]

Now this. This is interesting.

Do understand how delicious it is for someone to say Pixar's Ratatouille of all things is corporate propaganda. How actually stupid this increasingly sounds? May I share why because I just had to with this...

Let’s put aside the fact that most people who actually remember the film enough to analyze it see that it was clearly anti-corporation when Skinner is the manifestation of marketable greed where he literally is using the image of his dead partner to try selling microwavable meals. Let’s put aside the fact that Ego didn’t give up his job because he was reasonably fired (the film says this btw so the bottom ask here pulled shit out their ass, naturally). Three very important things I want to make clear here. Kinda four really.

The “blind slander against critics” is the result of people not immediately buying everything they say or believing everything is a 10/10 or a disaster beyond belief. There is a reason Rotten Tomatoes has become a joke over the years, why Joker became a billion big success despite the visible ire against it, and why “voting with your wallet” has become more of a staple in the market. Critics hardly matter outside the retrospective anyway when stuff that actually could be shit can earn millions anyway. If critics really influenced the monopoly, stuff like Wolfwalkers and Into the Spider-verse would’ve made a billion easy, if not near compared to what they got. Hell, The Emoji Movie would not have been as successful if the unified hate against it actually affected anything. Disney is Disney, people have always had enough of the stupidest trust in them so the “blind slander on critics” means nothing and hasn’t meant anything when it comes to them. When people say being a critic is easy, this is what they mean. That and Youtube.

Anton Ego was not redeemed. He didn’t save Gusteau’s with his ending review, he didn’t help Remy be recognized as the greatest chef in Paris, he just recognized his arrogance. The whole point of Ego’s flashback was not because “I was sad once”, that’s grossly myopic. Remy's food made him nostalgic for his own childhood and that is why he gave a positive review after knowing who made the dish “pontificating” the message of the film "innovation and talent can come from anywhere and anyone." Ego wasn’t a villain, there was nothing to be forgiven about because he just did his job. Hell, beyond Gusteau’s death which wasn’t his fault, the restaurant didn’t shut down because of his original review and there was never any sign of the place going under after said review. He was hardly an impact beyond being the obstacle perspective for Remy to challenge and that’s the point.

This disdain for Ego is in the nebulous idea that Ego is a “Take That” towards critics and criticism in general when that really isn’t the case. Ego did what he did because of his genuine love for food and he was very fair towards a disadvantaged chef. If he had shittalked the restaurant while loving the food, Lily would have a point, but he was completely sincere regardless. Like the whole point of the climax with Ego was that he enjoyed the meal not as a critic, but as a lover of food, reminding him of why he became a professional critic in the first place. I bet Orchard only believes Ego is an imaginary take on critics because Ego openly admits that criticism can be easy and the film is about curbing your ego and recognizing what can be great can come from anywhere. Who left this film taking the fucking bait? Which leads into my last point.

How the hell do you get corporate propaganda from the message that “open-mindedness and integrity are good things to offer for people who’ve put in the effort”? Remy’s journey is about proving to himself and others that he can cook, challenging Ego’s notion that “Not anyone can cook”. The film is about the passion in creativity, having genuine perseverance in what you want to achieve for yourself, and THAT’s “corporate propaganda”? It’s hilarious coming from Schrodinger’s Asshole herself, somehow taking this into the worst light possible. If Ratatouille was so anti-critic as Orchard believes, it wouldn’t have validated his opinion. Hell, if it was so anti-critic, Linguini would have kicked out Ego before revealing Remy to him. Ego expressed a positive experience in spite of the fact that a rat made his food. Indirectly, he recognized Remy’s skill when he could’ve easily been disgusted at the thought; again, the guy had his integrity.

Like, brazen corporate propaganda? What would be opposite of that, Orchard, or do you just hope no one would care enough cuz this is the worst, dumbest, funniest bad take for this film I will ever know.

[thefloatingstone]

Last time I made a playlist of recommended youtube channels to enjoy while in lockdown or self quarantine, I focused on individual videos while also recommending other videos from the same channel.

I thought I’d make another list only this time I’m going to be recommending playlists or series on youtuber instead of just individual videos.

This is gonna go exactly like last time, so check out any of these that might seem interesting to you, and hopefully I can give you something to look into if you want something to watch but don’t feel like watching a Netflix or Crunchyroll show.

Last time I tried to put this under a read more break but it didn’t work and I ended up posting this long-ass post on everyone’s dash. Well I decided to do so again here. hit J to skip to the bottom of the post if you don’t feel like reading this whole thing. If you’re on tumblr mobile; why?

In no particular order;

Cinemassacre movie reviews and topics

All of you already know James Rolfe as the AVGN. I started watching him before Youtube was even a thing, before he was even signed on with Screwattack. Back when his videos could only be seen on his own website (or for some reason included on the free DVD you got with the local video game magazines). However, I eventually outgrew the outrage style humour of the AVGN episodes... but then James started doing Monster Madness where he would talk about his love for horror movies, and this where I learned about his vast knowledge about movie history and even films I had never even heard mention of before! I think it’s safe to say, he got me to be interested in movie history just as much as movie production and film as a viewing experience.

I recommend this playlist which is a hodgepodge of James talking about old horror movie franchises, talking about his first experience with Power Rangers as someone who didn’t grow up with it, or how Bob Ross is a childhood hero of his. It’s an excellent play list that’s really laid back but you learn a lot of stuff from it. James is very informed for the most part and it leads you to wanting to check out a lot of these things too, just because he’s so passionate about it.

If I ever get over my weird hang up about speaking out loud, these are the kinds of videos I’d like to make.

Vinesauce Vinny: The Neverhood

Vinny is by no means a new Let’s Player, having been on Youtube for over 10 years now, but I only started watching him a few months ago. I started with this playlist when I saw he was doing The Neverhood, a game I had heard about but never seen played before. The Neverhood is a bizarre game, as a point and click PC game from the 90s where the entirety of the video game was made with stop motion and clay. Something that sounds so insane you would say it’s impossible if not for the fact that it exists. The claymation itself is extremely well done, and the game has a really weird and absurd sense of humour. Just the strangest things happen in this thing. Now couple that with Vinny’s very dry and straightforward delivery and you have probably one of the funniest Let’s Plays I’ve watched in a long time.

This is also “short” for a Let’s Play series. With only 4 parts to it, the longest video only being a bit under and hour and 30 minutes. It’ll still take up a good chunk of your time, but it’s not as daunting as some of the other Let’s Plays I’ll mention on this list.

Team Four Star: Pokemon Shield Nuzlocke

Exactly what it says on the tin. The guys from Team Four Star play Pokemon Shield with Nuzlocke rules. They’ve done several Nuzlocke runs in the past, but I find the Pokemon Shield is the best one they’ve done. Especially since a lot of the needless fluff and grinding has been edited out. So unlike some of their previous series you don’t see a lot of Kieran and Grant running in a circle for an hour trying to catch a specific pokemon or trying to get to a certain level.

It’s also hilarious as they have a lot of “house rules” for the Nuzlocke often involving the exercise bike they.... have..... for some reason.

It’s very good and the gym battles become SUPER hype with the Nuzlocke rules and the music.

Baywatching

Having been going to a few years now, watch Allison try her very best to go through and do a video series where she talks about summarises every episode of Baywatch.

.... Ever. Single. Episode.

She’s not even close to done yet (and now she’s introduced Baywatch Nights AS WELL) but her trying to explain the batshit insanity of this show, it’s over the top characters, it’s insane plots and behind the scenes weirdness with all the enthusiasm and love for this slice of 90s is amazing. Please enjoy a good thick chunk of inside jokes, silly character voices, and a whole lot of ?????

Brutal Moose: Shenmue

Probably one of the most chill channels on all of Youtube, Brutal Moose aka Ian, prefers playing games you wouldn’t think would make for good Let’s Plays. And maybe they don’t, objectively. A collection of playlists covering Truck Simulator, Nancy Drew, Hidden Object games etc etc, spliced in with old commercials from drive in theaters from the 50s,60s and 70s. Ian’s Let’s Play channel is great for just putting on and letting play for company while you’re drawing or grinding in a video game or playing Stardew or something.

I recommend his Shenmue playthrough as Ian completely fell in love with the game and went on to play both the sequel and the newly released third game. Ian genuinely adores the weird voice acting and all the menial tasks and mini-games you can do. I watched this a lot in 2018 when I was going through a rough time, and it really helped me in a strange way to just put Ian on and listen to him talk to the chat and drive a forklift around for like 4 hours straight before going to Tomato Mart or wasting all his money on the gacha machines.

A Measured Response to “In Defense of Dark Souls 2″

At some point, big name youtuber Hbomberguy made a video called “In Defense of Dark Souls II”. I’m not subscribed to Hbomberguy but I enjoyed his video on why Sherlock (the BBC show) is trash. (come to think of it I should have added that to the first list). And it seems the video on Sherlock was really good and well argued.... and it seems his “In Defense of Dark Souls 2″ video... was not.

Using subjective language, bad representation of facts, or simply outright getting certain information wrong, Hbomberguy′s video on Dark Souls II is, at best, a man trying to argue that he likes Dark Souls II because it is “Objectively good”, rather than simply accept he likes it... because he likes it.

MauLer is kind of an asshole, but I have learned more about dissecting someone’s argument and deconstructing what they have said watching his response series than I have in any english or debate class I have ever had.

The response is over 10 hours long, but this is because MauLer takes time with each and every statement he takes umbrage with, discussing what is being said, discusses why it is false or dubious, and then compares with actual facts and research.

If you ever want to know how to to distinguish subjective opinion from objective fact in someone else’s argument regarding... ANYTHING really, I highly recommend this series.

I may not like MauLer as a person, but DAMN if he doesn’t know how to deconstruct an argument in a logic, emotionless way.

John Wolfe: Maize

Maize is a stupid game. a Stupid stupid game.

It involves sentient corn, and underground secret genetics lab, a Russian bootleg teddy bear that hates everyone, sentient corn, and a crumpet.

This game IMMEDIATELY went on my wishlist after watching this playthrough. Please watch John try and figure what the actual fuck is going on in this Monty Python-eque weird black comedy. It’s stupid, it’s weird, it’s bizarre and it’s honestly one of the funniest games I’ve seen streamed.

Hollywood: a Celebration of the Silent Era

This is not a youtube playlist. I mean it IS, but what this actually is, is a TV series released in the UK in 1980 covering the Silent Film era. As it was made in 1980, it includes interviews with many of the silent film stars who were often still alive during this documentary’s production. Each episode covers a specific theme of the silent movie era. One episode is about comedies, one is about WWI, one is about Westerns etc etc.

It’s a fascinating series, because it focuses on the silent era which, in modern day, I think many people unfairly think of as “those first few years of movies before movies really became a thing.” And that’s such a shame and really not true. The artistry, camera tricks, and raw nature of this early era of film making is so important and produced films which can still be watched today easily, possibly even easier than a few modern movies as often the very fact that the films are silent means they are universal, regardless of what language you speak.

I think an episode or two might have been turned to private or copyright claimed in this playlist, but I know if you do a search on youtube you can find the episode uploaded by someone else.

Diamanda Hagan: Bonekickers

Bonekickers is the show Mathew Graham made before he went on to work on the new Dr. Who. It is about archaeologists and it is God-fucking-Awful.

It is.... look. Ok. I like Archaeology a lot. But this isn’t a show that’s bad “if you like history” or “if you know things about archaeology”. This show is bad because it doesn’t make a single fucking lick of sense, all the characters are awful and terrible, and even if you understand what’s going on in the story you’re still going to be screaming “WHY????” at the screen as each new baffling stupid piece of the puzzle slots into place.

Diamanda Hagan has 0 time for this garbage and she’s going to walk you through each episode to show you how truly horrible this piece of garbage is.

Cry Plays: Ori and the Blind Forest

With Ori and the Will of the Wisps releasing recently, now is a great time to go and watch Cry playthrough the first Ori game. an absolutely gorgeous piece of work with a beautiful soundtrack and really likeable character designs and a sweet story, Ori is a great game to put on, sit back, and just let it wash over you. Cry’s playthrough is also great because although its a Metroidvania game, Cry fast forwards the parts where he backtracks for a long period of time, so you don’t get stuck watching him run back and forth as he tries to figure out where to go next or anything like that.

Cry also recently started playing the sequel as well!

If you enjoyed this list at all, please consider tipping me for a coffee

☕️ Ko-fi ☕️

[snowflake-of-destruction]

vanikai!!

1. How do much do I ship it?: Never heard of it/ Notp / Dislike / used to ship / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / IS IT CANON YET

Fun fact: I started out as maybe and moved to the ship category while writing 

2. What non sexual activities do they like to do together?

Grass is Greener Verse: 

Theater, as shocking as it is that they can fixate on something where the eyes aren't on either of them. Well, there is the pre-show ritual of Kairi talking about how well she would have done as a stage actress. Vanitas more often takes a supportive rather than sarcastic response to this, and tells her she should go to some open auditions. It's far from too late. She's young, hot, and talented (He presumes the last one, but he'd never bet the opposite...and after he sees the one movie she did and some of the commercials...he'll just keep his mouth shut on talented). Sometimes, she'll beam, call him right, and make plans she doesn't follow through on. Sometimes she's noncommittal. Sometimes she'll glare at him, deciding he's just trying to end conversation or mock that she is all talk. Post-show there's also talk--this time from both of them--about how they could have done better in certain roles, which is a couples bonding activity all on its own. HOWEVER, these types of fantasies are not why they love plays. They think is an engrossing form of storytelling, that make worlds come to life and put you in them more than movies or tv. Also, they are simply dramatic nerds at heart.

They also play tennis. Primarily doubles, though you would be foolish to play against them, but they enjoy competing with each other too.

Rock climbing, but at an indoor rock gym. Anyone who asks them if they are training for something/ever planning a trip receives incredibly incredulous looks and scoffing. Not because of the potential danger, because of the very idea of them out in the wilderness...though sometimes Kairi will counter this by mentioning that one summer she worked for her father's, now Axel's, landscaping business. That was getting dirty in nature. Vanitas's response to this is not for this headcanon space

A more canon-verse approach (what do you mean Vanitas not joining the guardians of light post-kh3 is not canon?): There is a lot of sparring. Vanitas helps Kairi advance her keyblade training and just plain get out some of the anger in the grief of losing Sora. Van doesn't go easy and Kairi likes that. Kairi helps Vanitas with any gaps in education without talking down, pitying or even mentioning his strange upbringing, or, the worst, comparing him to Roxas or Xion (because he has identity issues too). I'm not even talking traditional education, though that too if he wants, but education on social situations...which he's not a complete idiot about. He's actually really good at reading people. He just needs a little guidance on what way to use the info, because he only has like five moves and not every situation calls for "taunt" or "threaten loved one". Kairi makes him a much better manipulator. Thanks Kairi. There's also a lot of snuggling, because I say so, that's why. I just see them both as a bit yearning for physical reassurance in their lonely spells, and also the least likely to say it for their own different reasons, so they read it in each other and  just give each other what they need but won't ask for.

Read More before this gets too long

3. Who does chores around the house?

Grass is Greener: Neither, as much as it can be helped. It's a stand off about most of the regular chores, and periodically they have a cleaning service come through that is more thorough than either of them are. More often than not, Kairi is the one that "breaks" over keeping the kitchen clean, and Vanitas about cleaning bathrooms and straightening living areas. Vanitas is very neat as a habit, and Kairi likes her surroundings to show a little bit of how she likes chaos--she just is grossed out by dirty dishes, grease stains, and food crumbs. Cooking is a bit of a fifty-fifty with both preferring quickly assembled meals. Laundry is taken down to nothing-to-wear levels, and then it's whoever needs something first. Though sometimes this all goes out the windows, and Kairi goes through "Look, I'm a fifties housewife" sprints where suddenly everything's spotless and she's cooked a three course dinner and did it all in a cocktail dress because she didn't realize you're supposed to change into the dress after. 

Kinda-canon: Vanitas. He has a lot of pent up emotions and sometimes you have got to stress clean or cook. Kairi would help, but the arrangement of Vanitas doing the lion's share and it seeming to help him definitely works for the self-described lazy bum.

4. Who’s the better cook?

Grass is Greener: Vanitas. Kairi is a bit careless following recipes and doesn't have the innate "cooking sense" in regard to estimating amounts, flavors, heat, or time to freestyle. Vanitas, when he does cook, tends to get really serious about it even though he prefers the simple to assemble, like I said in the last answer.

Kinda Canon: Kairi. Vanitas is slow to adjust from the “food is only fuel not pleasure” mindset and Kairi starts out with a base of her adoptive parents having taught her some things. Vanitas has a sharp learning curve though, bullying Little Chef into helping him (because he's not going to lose) and not realizing that the bullying is what makes Little Chef more reluctant and ensures Remy doesn't teach him all the secrets he does to others.  Anyone can cook, but if you're mean you are taught to cook less well. Once Kairi gets Little Chef tutelage, it's all over.

5. Who’s the funniest drunk?

Grass is Greener: Both and neither in a way. They both have a very high tolerance. They tend to act out more on purpose out of the excuse than act out because of a truly altered state. Alcohol isn't magic. It just lowers inhibitions and neither has those to begin with. If I had to choose though, Kairi is a funnier drunk, because Vanitas's mean streak becomes more developed the drunker he is, whereas Kairi's mean streak, when she chooses to have one, is more practiced and purposeful cultivation instead of a natural harshness.

Kinda Canon: Vanitas. He is not prepared, and once he loses his filter everything spills out, and it's a lot less ugly than some people expected. Kairi just gets giggly and slightly louder, but otherwise doesn't change.

6. Do they have kids?

Grass is Greener: :) :D  Listen. Listen. If Shaky was the one who carelessly put "I don't think it fits me the way it used to" on the Vanikai picture she drew. SUPPOSEDLY this was done for cleavage and for the "help you take it off" joke but I know a dangled plotline when I see it. 

Kinda Canon: That partially depends on the state of the worlds and how many other keybearers there are when they are older. Even in a stable universe, I don't see them having kids young and it being a long discussion of whether they want kids at all, not the least because of the implications of Vanitas's powers and whether they are only his or would be passed down--what could happen to an infant that could summon Unversed and not know how to retract them even if they were loyal especially if it would be hurt by them being vanquished. I see them adopting orphans from other worlds and saying fuck world order more than having kids naturally. 

7. Do they have any traditions?

Grass is Greener: Annual trip to Vegas to recreate the way they met under new created identities.

Kinda Canon:  Vanitas calls every tradition he's introduced to stupid without fail. Vanitas also gets VERY into every holiday, and Kairi is all too happy to indulge. Then, he starts nudging her about teaching him more dumb holidays. Their tradition becomes ALL THE TRADITIONS. They celebrate holidays from every world and from every religion if there's a way to do it respectfully--and if it's not appropriate to participate, then they just learn about it as much as they are permitted--and then they look up and celebrate obscure or "made up" things like Leave a Zucchini on a Neighbor's Porch Day.

8. What do they fight about?

Grass is Greener:  What you would expect. 

Housework. 

Why do you take criticism like a personal attack?

What do you do all day? versus Why are you never home? 

Were you flirting with the waiter? 

Did you even want the baby? Was it a relief when I lost it?

Kind of Canon: Imagine Kairi saying in the same tone as Belle in Disney's Beauty and the Beast "Well you should learn to control your temper!"

No, really, it's mainly about Vanitas being "mean" to people...and then sometimes it's about Kairi doing the same and then blaming him as a bad influence.

9. What would they do if they found their paring tag on tumblr? (If they have one)

Grass is Greener: The flippant answer is that they are really confused about this whole Disney crossover with weird swords thing, and why they are teenagers in so many of these pictures. Don't even get them started on the skirt over the muscle suit paired with the motorcycle helmet Vanitas sees himself put in. When he wears a skirt he has a lot better style, especially if Kairi helps put together the outfit.

But let's take this in a different way. That one bad movie Kairi did is actually gaining a small cult following now years after its release. Someone does a "What Happened to Kairi Emberson? The Answer Will Shock You!" clickbait. The answer...is not shocking but enough people see a photo of Kairi, fine as ever, now Kairi White and looking so happy with Vanitas, and the pair get an objectively creepy because the next few pictures are pulled from social media they don't lock, but well intentioned few people finding and posting more cute pictures of the,  and they become a sparse tag and one that is half joking, but a RPS all the same. Kairi pretends to hate this, but is not so secretly really flattered. Vanitas genuinely hates it.

Kinda-canon:  Kairi loves it. Vanitas is fascinated despite himself. Everyone else is disappointed because they expected flustered denials or anger at those that portray them wrong, but Van and Kairi both just think it's cool.

10. Who cried at the end of Marley and me?

Grass is Greener: Neither. They roasted it for filth. They cried about it much later. Vanitas in the shower, and Kairi the next day when she was over at Xion's, saw her dog Elmo, and it all busted loose.

Kinda Canon: Vanitas. Cue a discussion about how movies work, how they are not real, and Vanitas snapping that he knows that until there are now multiple types of Unversed to take care of. Kairi gently cuddles both her man and the Unversed until equilibrium returns.

11. Who always wins at Mario kart?

Kairi in all universes. Vanitas doesn't care in GiG, but in canon there is a shout of "Rematch and this time it counts!" despite it being the 100th rematch

12. One thing I like about this ship?

That they have potential to understand each other more than people who technically know them better, or at least the concept of being seen a certain way and having a different "certain way" that everyone thinks it would be better if they grew toward instead of just being allowed to be. Princess of Heart and Agent of Darkness aren't really so different after all.

13. One thing I don’t like about the ship?

When it's clear that it's a fill in for people who want Soriku but can't think of anyone but Sora for Kairi, and so pick "other Sora." There's not anything wrong with that outright, and this isn't me annoyed with pair the spares (though that can rub wrong if it is handled wrong or I'm in a mood to make a point about how not everyone needs a romantic relationship), but annoyed with the reduction of Vanitas to "edgy Sora"

14. The song I would say fits them?

Grass is Greener:

Sibella, and I'll quote a verse and a half because clearly this isn't already long enough.

"You are vain and you are heartless and yet

I can feel in you a shade of sadness

That's barely detectable

That I still want you at all

I may live to regret

You're deceitful

You're delectable

You see the fate of a man

Who has had the misfortune

To spend his life caught in your sway

I see Sibella

My Sibella

And I like her that way"

It works both ways. Change whatever pronouns you want.

Kind of Canon: I...don't know. I can't think off the top of my head. 

15. Another headcanon about the paring? (Free space)

Grass is Greener: Even though they think they met in Vegas, they had crossed paths before and probably more than once. I don't have specific headcanons (yet), but this may be something if I ever write the other 20 bazillion Grass is Greener scenes for various characters and relationships that I want to do first.

Kind of Canon:  Kairi makes her own version of the suit and borrows Vanitas's helmet sometimes to do things she would never "get away with" as herself. Vanitas blesses this, helps her with the suit, and hands over the helmet after kissing the visor for luck. He also exposes her as a fake Vanitas by showing up at the worst time on purpose.

[fanficsandfluff]

Emotions Get the Better (1)

My first Arthur Fleck x reader installation. There should be more to follow. But who knows. I’m all over the place. Enjoy!

~~~~

You were always a very emotional person. All around over-emotional on any layer of the spectrum of emotions. You’d feel a pit in your stomach and a lump in your throat when you’d see a particularly beautiful ballet performance while at work. If you found something even minorly funny, but it touched you in a certain way, you’d cackle. If you got genuinely angry at something, you’d shout until your throat hurt; and if you were angry enough, you’d start to cry. Full circle of tears. 

Hormones, your mom would blame it on when you were growing up. You did have some hormonal imbalances but you’d been taking pills for that most of your life. Fucking pills. If you could, you’d never take a single pill the rest of your life; but then you think about it too hard and you think you’ll drop dead after one day without meds. So you keep picking up your prescriptions. 

Anyway, as of late there’d been new and strange occurrences on your commute to work. You worked at the biggest theater in Gotham as an usher. They held bands, cultural shows, and dance performances, and they were planning on a Gala screening of Charlie Chaplin’s Modern Times in the upcoming month. You were excited for that and kept basically begging your boss to give you a shift for that event. But during your walk from the train station to the theater, swerving through bustling crowds that seem to always intentionally bump into each other, you’d noticed a green tuft of bouncing hair on the other side of the street where you’d normally cross. A clown was dancing, advertising an “Everything Must Go” sale. He seemed happy enough to be doing what he was doing. And you had to stare at him for a little longer than you probably should have. Clowns always gave you the creeps, even if some people genuinely though they were funny. So that day, you waited until the next block to cross the street. 

And you realized this guy had a decent gig because he’d be in the same spot on that street every day for the next week. You’ve seen him so much you were surprised that by now he hadn’t turned to look at you and beep his red nose at you. Well, you supposed you’d recognize him more than he would recognize one person out of hundreds that pass him every day. But seeing him every day heading to work somehow gave you something to think about during the more boring shifts. Do people see his sign and act and visit the store that’s closing? Is everyone just as perturbed by his clown makeup, hair, and shoes as you so they just ignore him? Do the drapes match the carpet? 

You snorted at that last one out loud as you washed your hands in the bathroom sink and splashed water over your tired face after a 7 hour shift, on your feet, with nothing but one 15 minute break to serve as your rest. 

You could hear the train rattling on the track above you, so you started sprinting towards the staircase that led up to the platform. And just in time, you sped into the closing doors, your shoulder getting hit with the brunt of the automatic door, which forced open upon your entry. You stood inside the train car and let out an audible, “Whew....” and caught your breath as you stumbled to an empty seat and plopped down on it. Thank god you made it. You would’ve had to wait another 45 minutes for the next one. The train began to rumble forward.

As your breath slowed and your heartbeat returned to normal, you took in your surroundings of this late-night subway car. You shifted your eyes to the left and your jaw almost dropped. Clown guy seemed to be looking at you with a faint smile on his painted face, but quickly turned his head away when you made eye contact with him. 

You grinned to yourself and looked down at the empty coffee cup rolling backwards and forwards in the seat across from you. The clown must’ve had a long day to be coming home at this hour of night. And he still was in full garb, wig and all. You didn’t want to be rude, but you finally had the chance to get a good look at him, not just from across the street. You looked at his big clown shoes and had to stifle a genuine laugh. The whole getup on this shitty Gotham train at like midnight was somehow the funniest thing you’d seen in a while. You wanted to snap a picture if you could. The man seemed to be in his own world now that he wasn’t staring at you. 

The train pulled into the next stop and a bunch of rowdy teenagers got on and you already wanted to switch train cars. You had a long ways to go before your own stop. 

They were all busy yelling and laughing and pushing each other as the train lurched forward, until one of them tapped another on the shoulder and went, “Yo yo yo,” to get his attention. He caught sight of the clown. The boys mellowed out for the time being and all turned to look at the clown, who seemed oblivious he was even a target of theirs. 

Slowly, each of the boys started giggling to themselves, making jokes at the clown’s expense. 

“Yoho! That’s so fucking creepy, man--”

“What the fuck, are we in a horror movie, like--?”

And one of the more brave teens of the bunch stepped closer to the clown as the train rocked, “Hey, man, going to a birthday party?”

The clown’s eyes shifted up towards the teen and he looked away again, not wanting to get into this. 

The teen scoffed and kicked one of his oversized shoes, “You ain’t exactly the funniest clown I’ve seen. You wanna tell a joke? Change my mind?”

You were sitting, trying your hardest not to get involved in this scene. Rule one of being in Gotham was that you always minded your own business. Crazy guy screaming about the mayor and somehow also grilled cheese? You ignore him or get up and calmly move to another car when the train stops. You never make eye contact. 

But this poor guy was just minding his own damn business and these dumbass kids are bothering him just because he’s decked out in clown gear. This wasn’t right---

You were shaken out of your own thoughts and actually had to look up when you heard what had to be a laugh, but it came out as a cry, almost. The clown had thrown his hand over his mouth, but behind it he was stifling laughter. 

“You’re supposed to make us laugh, bozo! Not the other way around! Jesus!” and now the teen was laughing at the clown. 

You couldn’t look away now, as the whole posse was cackling along with the clown. But you knew something was off about the way the clown was laughing. You could see his hand going to hold his throat as a small choking sound made its way out of his mouth, and then the giggling resumed. 

“You’re a fucking freak!” one of the other teens yelled and they started to crowd around him, all taunting him. Some were even starting to shove him. 

You blessed the heavens since you knew this was one of the shorter stops on the train and you stood up from your seat and loudly yelled, “Hey!” over the sound of the group’s raucous. You just prayed these teens would respect a lady. You wanted to slap yourself just for that stupid thought. 

They turned to look at you and you almost clammed up before saying slowly, “Listen, can we just leave the guy be?”

“He started laughing at me! Don’t you think he’s a fucking creep, lady?”

“You know, maybe he wasn’t laughing at you. Maybe he just remembered a joke and started laughing at that. He is a clown, so he’s supposed to find things funny. You think you can just switch cars? Please, he wasn’t going to bother anyone.”

The train screeched to a halt and the teens all looked around at each other. It seemed your politeness took them for a loop because they weren’t used to having to deal with manners. You gave them one of your stern looks you saved for especially rude patrons at work. 

“Aight, I mean, I guess you want some alone time with your boyfriend. Have a good night, miss,” the teen who got up close to the clown said to you with a sneer to his voice and a glint in his eye. As the doors opened, the boys scurried out together. One of them tripped over the clown’s big shoe and the others continued to laugh at him. 

They were gone, into another car or hopefully back out on the streets so they could go home to their damn families. The train moved forward once more.

You looked down at the clown who you realized had stopped laughing and was now looking up at you with what you could probably describe as shock, but you didn’t want to be that generous towards yourself. You took a seat beside him, “Kids can be such assholes, right? Geez... are you okay?” you saw his wig was now crooked and long brown locks peeked out from under it.

“I’m fine,” he finally answered after a little too long of a pause, and added, “Thank you. That was very nice of you.”

“No problem. Just maybe in the future change out of your getup before coming on the train?” 

The man looked at you and his lips twitched upward in what could have been a smile if he didn’t let them fall back to the almost-frown he had on before. 

You looked at him a bit longer. He had such a meek voice. You never would’ve guessed he sounded like that just from seeing him dancing from across the busy Gotham street. But now that you were up close to him, you can see how delicate his frame was, how oversized all of his clothes really were on him, not just his shoes. 

“When do you get off?” you asked.

“N-Not for a while. Second to last stop.”

“Okay. Mine’s a bit before that, so I’ll just ride with you until then.”

The clown stared at you as if you were from another planet before he cleared his throat gently and slid the green wig off his head and put it away with care into a big duffel bag he carried with him. 

You got more comfortable in your seat and let out a yawn. The ride went smoothly for the next few stops, the clown not interacting with you at all. You could feel like he wanted to say something to you or turn and look at you, but all he did was sit and look down at his lap.

“I’m Arthur,” he finally said in a voice just above a whisper, and he looked at you.

You looked back at him and gave him a smile, sharing your first name with him, as well.

“I’ve seen you around, Arthur,” you finally brought up the topic you most wanted to address, “You’re in front of the shop that’s closing down. I pass by you on my way to work.”

“Oh, I--- Well, I’m sorry I haven’t noticed you before.”

“Not your fault, I mean, I walk on the other side of the street and you have no reason to literally notice me out of every person that passes by you each day. How’d you get the clown gig?”

Your eyes kept drifting down to his vest because looking at the clown makeup in such close proximity for too long was starting to skeeve you out. 

“It’s something I’ve always thought I’d be good at. I’m actually a comedian.”

“Oh,” you nodded and smiled, “I can see the connection.”

There was more silence and Arthur fiddled with the hem of his shirt. Your stop was finally here and you stood up, “Well, I’ll see you, Arthur. I’ll say hi more directly next time I go to work. Stay safe.”

“Th-Thank you again,” he said probably the most confidently he’d said anything during his interaction with you. 

You stepped off the train and gave him a small wave. Doing something like that for someone made you feel sooooo good. Wow, you need to be participating in more selfless deeds more often. You can see how people say helping less fortunate is rewarding. You made an audible sound like a scoff as you walked through the late night Gotham streets; who the fuck are you to be thinking shit like that? God, your mind was everywhere lately. Maybe you would try and walk on Arthur’s side of the street tomorrow. Maybe it’ll make him happy. Maybe it’ll make the both of you feel a little bit better. 

[cassercole]

put together a bunch of otp questions from @the-moon-dust-writings cause i wanted to reblog all of them cause all of them are SO GREAT -- send me an otp! 

Who offers their jacket when the other is cold?

Who likes to nuzzle their head into their partner’s chest?

How many and what colours are the blankets they like to snuggle in?

Who runs up and hugs their partner and who stands arms wide open to catch their partner?

 Who would be more likely to get matching scarves for themselves and their partner?

Would they much rather go on a romantic date or a laid back date? Explain why.

Who still gets butterflies after years of dating?

Who is the one who makes their partner laugh so much that their face hurts?

How would each of them explain how they met?

Who accidentally drinks too much caffeine and who has to deal with their partner bouncing off the walls?

 Where is a special place they hold close to their hearts? Why is it special?

Who giggles uncontrollably when the other playfully picks them up?

Who compliments the other in front of everyone?

Who is more likely to tell the other a pun and what is the other’s reaction to the pun?

When one of them has a bad day, what does the other do to help cheer them up?

If they got to pick what one another wears for a day, what would one another wear?“

Who introduces their partner to their family first? How does it go?

In a coffee shop AU, who would be the coffee shop employee and who would be the customer?

When they sit side by side, do they touch one another? For example, does one person has their arm around the other, do they sit holding hands, or linked arms, ECT.

What is a small thing that one another does to make their partner happy?

What would they do to celebrate their one year anniversary?

When did they know that loved each other, and when did they first tell each other that they loved one another?

Who likes to give the other hugs from behind followed by a kiss?

Who would make a playlist for the other person? What would be featured on the playlist?

Who would bring their partner on a romantic date under the stars?

Who pulls the other closer while sleeping?

How do they wake up next to each other? Ex - Tangled in each other’s arms? Is one falling off the bed? ECT.

What movie do they watch when they both had a bad day and just want to turn off their brains for a little while?

Who picks something up, says a pun with the object then laughs as if it’s the funniest thing they ever heard?

How do they hype one another up?When one of them gets a new outfit, how does the other react?

Who tries to playfully scare the other person and who always knows where the other person is?

When they grocery shop, what is one section they love to plaufully mess around in and why?

When their partner has a bad day, what is something the other picks up to try and make their day a little better? Ex - Fast food, flowers, a punny card, ect.

Who runs up and hugs their partner while the other catches them?What song reminds them of each other?

Who presses their nose against their partner’s cheek before kissing them?

What small quirks do they love about each other?

Who accidentally snorts when they laugh and that makes both of them laugh harder?

What are somethings that they do for one another because they know their partner hates it? Ex- do the dishes, phones to make an order, talks to sales clerk. ECT

Who laughs at their own joke and who deadpans at the joke?

If they had a secret handshake, how would it go?

It’s movie night, what movies are they gonna watch together?

It’s time to name their pet they adopted together, who gets to name it? How do they come to this decision?

Who would they love to go on a double date with?

Who wakes the other up in the morning? How do they wake them up?

How do they celebrate Halloween?

Who is more likely to call their partner ‘dude’?

Which one cried during a fucking disney movie?

Who put a goddamned fork in the microwave?

Who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes “Guess who” thing?

Who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner?

Who had that embarrassing Reality TV marathon?

Who laughs more during sex?

WHO IS THE LITTLE SPOON?

During a thunderstorm how do they react? Is one scared? Do they both love it? Do they take pictures? ECT.

Who would looking lovingly at their partner and call them ‘idiot’?

It’s time to get groceries, who likes to look at everything and who just wants to power through and get everything done so they can go back home?

Who is more likely to make a mess in the kitchen?

Who likes to try to prank their partner?

When scrolling on their phone, who is more likely to show their partner a cute picture/video of an animal?

Who causes the tomfoolery and who has to try and stop the tomfoolery?

Who plans a romantic night and who can’t stop making puns the whole time?

Who can’t stop giggling when they are supposed to be serious which then makes their partner start giggling?

Who says funny things in their sleep? What do they say? Does the person who sleep talks believes they are saying these things?

Who likes to play with their partner’s hair?

If they had a podcast what would they primarily talk about?

They are grocery shopping and this turns into a race on who can get their half of the list completed faster. Who wins?

They decided to throw their pet a birthday party, who do they invite? Close friends with their pets? No one?

Who would be more likely to buy their partner a scarf with planets on it?

Who would go out of their way to do something silly to make their partner laugh?

Who is causing the ruckus and who has to try and stop it?

Who playfully hugs their partner from behind when they are cooking/prepping food?

Who high fives the other when they do something cool?

 How do they playfully roast one another?

What songs are on their road trip playlist?

Who is the one who continues to use cheesy pick up lines after years of dating?

Who is more nervous on their first date?

Who can’t stop giggling when their partner kisses them all over their face?

Who accidentally wears the other’s hat one day?

Who is in love with the other person’s laugh?

Who covers the other person with a blanket when they fall asleep somewhere other than their bed?

Who cracks open their beverage before handing it to their partner?

What dance moves do they break out on the dancefloor together?

What would be their dream vacation?

If they tried to do the yoga couple’s challenge, how would they do?

Where do they spend most of their time together?

Who runs their thumb over the other person’s skin to comfort them?

Who accidentally falls asleep on the other?

Who would run a bath for the other person?

What would their wedding look like?

Who would try to do something artsy for their partner and just before they were going to throw it out because they thought it sucked, their partner comes in and loves the art piece?

Who likes to jump into the other person’s arms?

Who likes to take artsy photos of them together?

Who makes puns with numerous things that they find?

What do they like to watch together after a long day?

Who is most likely to kiss the other on the cheek?

Who is more likely to break out in a spontaneous dance?

Who would hide in the couch to try and playfully scare their partner?

Who would sing a love song to the other in the car?

Who can’t help but giggle when the other compliments them?

What do they say to one another before they go to sleep?

What would they do/go if they were to have a weekend just to themselves? For example - small getaway, stay home and watch movies, go to an event, ECT.Who looks at the other person like they are their world when the other isn’t looking?

If they were to have matching pyjamas, what would they be?

Who would win in a pillow fight?

Who prepares/orders takeout for the other person just because they know how much their partner loves it?

Who poses and who encourages the other by yelling sweet things at them?

Who sighs and rests their head on their partner’s shoulder while the other pulls them closer?

Who is more likely to start a pillow fight at an obscure time at night?

How do they greet one another when they come home?

Who laughs and exposes their cover when they try to playfully scare their partner?

Who starts the dance off in the kitchen while they are baking cookies?

Are they more likely to built a pillow fort with aesthetically pleasing string lights or sit in a bed of a truck looking up at the stars?

Who continually tries to prank the other but fails each time?

Who is ready to throw down and who is ready to make a flower crown?

Who gets the spider out of the house?

Who laughs so hard that they make no sound and whose laugh can you hear from a mile away?

Who is more likely to create an absolute disaster in the kitchen?

Who tries their best at a new hobby and who is ready to hype their partner up?

They get looped into going to a party they don’t wanna go to, do they, A) Get out of it with a mediocre lie, (what is the lie) B) Go and decide to try and have a good time, C) Go and decide to start chaos or D) Go and steal some food?

Who would be more likely to buy their partner socks with dinosaurs on them?

Who said I love you first?

Who laughs and kisses their partner on the cheek while their partner isn’t happy about something trivial to try and make them feel better?

Who cuddles up to the other after a long day at work, and this soon escalates to a playful pillow fight?

What is something that they gave one another that has a lot of meaning?

How would one another describe their partner?

Who wraps their arms around their partner as they look them in the eyes and compliments them with a goofy smile?

Who loves saying ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’ or ‘my spouse’?

Who always talks about how amazing their partner is when their partner isn’t there and they just light up with genuine love and happiness?

Who loves it when their partner kisses them good morning?

Who shows the other how to balance a spoon on their nose?

Who loves to pull pranks on the other? What type of pranks do they pull and do they pull their pranks off?

What is something small that they would randomly pick up for one another?

Who is the one who can’t stop laughing when trying to tell a joke?

Who would plan the other a surprise birthday party?

Who picks the other person up when hugging their partner?

[minnie-marvel]

Crown Fell (Peter Parker x Reader) Part 3

Asgard has been destroyed and the time has come for you to live on Midgard with your brothers Thor and Loki. They’ve decided in order to live among humans you must learn to adapt to them, and what better place to do that then highschool? Don’t worry too much though, a very cute Peter Parker is ready to teach you and might be the Prince Charming you never thought you’d find on earth.

Peter Parker X Asgardian princess! Reader

Words:2,417

Part 1 Part 2

A/N: i love calling peter a spiderling its the funniest shit. ALSO CAN I JUST SAY I’M LIVING FOR BIG BROTHERS THOR AND LOKI???

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As Tony rolled up the divider between your family, him and Peter, he heard Peter sigh tiredly. Peter couldn’t help but stare at you through the rearview mirror as you told your brothers about your eventful first day at Midtown Tech. It wasn’t that his image of you was skewed now, he just knew that maybe trying to hang out with you would be a lot harder and make him a lot more susceptible to a mysterious stabbing, or a thunderclap to the face. He shot a look of betrayal to Tony.

“When were you going to tell me?!” He hissed under his breath.

“I did tell you! Don’t you remember kid?” Tony asked a knowing smirk playing on his lips. Peter crossed his arms and looked out the window as to not draw attention to himself as he murmured.

“All you told me was that I’d be meeting someone that I have to protect today! I assumed you meant at the compound and you know, not my high school!!!!” 

Tony let out a laugh.

“It's not that big a deal kid, Y/N, may be an Asgardian princess, but she’s still a teenager!! Thor and I just want her to be able to adapt to Midgardian life seeing as Asgard went to hell according to Thor and Loki,” Peter’s eyes scanned to yours while you weren’t paying attention, wrapped up in the company of your brothers. He wondered how you were able to seem so composed and collected in school, despite having so much going on in your personal life. 

“So when you say I’m supposed to protect her…” Peter trailed softly giving Tony a side glance.

“Thor says that there are still enemies of Asgard out to kick them when they’re already down. They both just want to make sure their baby sister is going to be alright here,” He glanced over his glasses to look at Peter’s conflicted figure.

 “Y’know kid I’d take it as a compliment, it’s not every day that the gods of thunder and mischief trust people to help them, let alone someone as close to them as their sister.” He said before turning his eyes back to the road while driving.

“Don’t stress yourself out you’ll get grays.”

Loki let his nose scrunch up as you described lunch to him and Thor. “They made you eat what?” He asked nearly gagging.

“I must admit I didn’t find it appetizing either… so I’m famished.” You confessed laying back in your chair your stomach growling.

“And this… flash, he seems like a burden,” Thor said with a shake of his head. “Be sure to let the spiderling know if he bothers you too much.” You felt your eyebrows raise. “Spiderling? Who’s that?” You saw Loki nod off at Peter who sat beyond the divisor looking bored as he mumbled an occasional word or two to Tony. 

So Peter really did know Tony Stark. You couldn’t say you were surprised, contrary to Flash you didn’t think that Peter was the type to lie about himself to others unless necessary. You smiled softly to yourself. He was a nice boy, being so kind to you on your first day when he knew virtually nothing about you still made you pleasantly surprised.

Loki and Thor exchanged quick knowing glances with one another as they caught you staring at Peter. Thor wrapped his arm around your shoulders and Loki pat the top of your head drawing you out of your thoughts. 

“Nevermind that, let’s just get home so we can take a moment to ourselves and relax,” Thor smiled all while keeping his eyes on the unsuspecting spiderman who stared out the window. 

---

You walked beside your brothers behind Peter and Tony before you all stood in the compounds living facility standing in the kitchen. Thor roamed the refrigerator for something you could eat while Peter piped up to talk to you again. 

“So…Europe huh?” He joked as you tried to keep back a laugh.

“If I knew you were an Avenger I would have told you sooner!!” You said genuinely as the two of you sat on barstools at the kitchen’s counter. 

“He’s not an Avenger,” Tony chimed as he walked past the two of you.

Peter rolled his eyes as he leaned in forward to begin his assault of questions. “So since you’re like Thor and Loki’s sister, does that mean you’ve got powers too?” He asked.

“I don’t have Thor’s thunderous strength or Loki’s sly wit, but my mother has helped me with my illusions when I was younger,” you explained. You took your pointer finger letting it whir in a circle before a soft turquoise light illuminated in a ring creating the small illusion of a bee. Peter’s eyes widened before he broke out in a loud laughter.

“You didn’t!!!” he shouted staring at your illusion as the bee floated around his head. He had to admit your work was quite impressive. It fooled him and the entire cafeteria the first time, he wondered just how much you could do.

“What about the whole antler thing?? Like how Loki had when he first invaded?” He asked excitedly.

“My crown?” you asked waving a hand over your head the turquoise light creating it from the seemingly thin air. The gold crown sat on your head the sharp horns pointed backward as opposed to your brother’s and father’s crown. There were wings that framed against the side of your cheeks and went back as well to protect your face.

“I don’t really wear it often, its only for special occasions,” You explained whisking it away. “Like banquets, ceremonies, days of courtship,” you said simply with a shrug. Peter’s eyes widened but only slightly as you finished.

“Days of courtship?” His voice cracked when he asked you to explain. You nodded lamely as you watched Thor fish out some leftover french toast from the morning.

“Yes, they were always such boring ordeals but I did them for my father’s sake…” You sighed rolling your eyes just thinking back at your many evenings spent with princes of different realms and universes.

“Not many caught my eye, to be honest, I always wanted to be off with my brothers playing with them,” You shrugged. 

Peter felt a lump form in his throat as he swallowed down. You were some princess alright, he wondered just how many poor souls you had turned down in your past. Before he knew the truth behind your, he would have just suggested dinner and a movie. Now he was trying to calculate in his head how much caviar might cost if he really wanted to impress you.

“None deserved your gaze my sweet sister and none do now,” Loki said putting his hands on your shoulders.Peter felt his hands get clammy. Was it just him or was his malicious gaze meant to be focused on him?

“Hey uh Odin’s angels,” Tony interjected before Peter could send a fearful gaze in his way. “A word if you will,” he said motioning to an office down the hall. “You can stay here Y/N, it’ll just be a minute, promise,” He  walked ahead Thor and Loki following slowly behind.

“What is it now Stark,” Loki asked as the door closed behind them. Tony sat at the desk before pulling up a screen in the middle of the air and typing on a projection of a keyboard.

“I didn’t want to alarm you in front of your sister but I got a blip on my ETR,” he looked at the screen as he continued typing in coordinates.

“ETR…?” Thor asked his eyebrows scrunching.

“My Extra-Terrestrial Reader, it notifies me if there’s any suspicious activity from other world space crafts or portals that come into the earth. It’s what gave me a heads up when you first arrived to pick your sister up,” He explained. He pinched his fingers on a screen map of North America zooming in on a small glowing blue dot that was present in Canada not too far away from New York.

“Here’s the blip, but it’s not from a coordinate I’ve seen before,” he finished setting his arms down in frustration. “I was hoping you might know where it’s coming from.”

They both scanned the coordinates but found their minds blank as they both looked at the glowing dot curiously. Loki shook his head slowly. “It’s nothing we recognize.” He said honestly before letting out a sigh of frustration himself.

“It could be nothing,” Tony suggested. “But if it comes on my feed again it might be worth it to look into. I’d want you both with me,” he finished. “If that happens, I’m assuming you’ll want Y/N to stay here, which is fine but you should probably let her know if that’s the case.”

“No,” Loki said instantly without even registering the concept properly in his head. “Y/N has the stubbornness of my brother if she knows that there is trouble on this earth and that we’ve gone to subdue it she’ll want to come too.”

Thor nodded in agreement. “That’s not something we can let happen, Y/N is our little sister, we don’t want to throw her into any danger whatsoever.”

Tony closed the window out and folded his hands together properly as he rested his chin. “Seems like we’re all on the same page then.”

---

You placed your hands on your lap as you turned your body to Peter. You guessed it was your turn to get some information on him now. “So you’re a spiderling I hear?” You grinned causing Peter to flush red.

“Huh?? oh yeah, Spiderman!! Yeah, that’s like my alter ego when I’m helping Mr. Stark and the others out with hero stuff,” Your eyes lit up in excitement. 

“You mean… Tony Stark he actually lets you come along with him in battle??” You were practically on the edge of your seat.

“Well uh yeah!!! I’m kind of like their secret weapon… they don’t call me out unless they need me,” He said puffing out his chest slightly as he stretched. Hey, it wasn’t like he was lying!! He was sort of like a secret weapon when he had that rundown with Cap. And Tony really didn’t call him out at all unless they needed him. It was just that they rarely did. 

“Amazing…” You whispered starry-eyed. “I could only dream of my brothers letting me fight alongside them…” You put your face in your two hands as you leaned back on the counter. 

“Well, can you fight?” Peter asked noticing your change in mood. He thought he’d have to cheer you up before you swiftly turned to him smiling as if you were happy he asked. Your arms crossed over your chest before they flashed at your sides two daggers made of a glimmering brown and turquoise marble revealing themselves to him.

“Father gave me these on my fifth birthday but I never get to use them!! I keep them on me all the time in case I need to,” You said twisting one of the knives in front of his face causing Peter to back up instinctively.

“How’d you do that!?” He asked urgently.

“Do what?”

“The- The knives Y/N!!! Like you just… whoosh!!” He said copying your movements perfectly minus the appearance of two daggers at his side.

“It’s sort of like Mjölnir, or Loki’s daggers they sort of just have an attachment to me, when I need them they come,” You said simply. 

“That’s awesome….” Peter whispered now leaning forward to take a closer look at them. He noticed how smooth the skin was on your hands, how your nails were perfectly manicured as they held such a dangerous weapon within them. 

“Right?? Do you want to use one and we could have a sparring match!?” You eagerly pushed the knife closer towards him causing him to back up again.

“What?? Y/N, not a chance!!! You’ll stab me in like two seconds!!” He laughed. 

“Oh please, I promise to go easy on you Peter!!” You begged tossing the knife in the air catching it by the handle after it did a three sixty flip.  

He rolled his eyes his shoulders still jumping up and down as he continued to laugh. “Y/N, I’d like to graduate high school without having to say I’ve gotten stabbed before,” he joked. You put the daggers away with a shrug. “Suit yourself spiderling,” you chimed.

“Spiderman!” he corrected feigning offense placing a hand on his chest. You both laughed together happily before breaking off into a silence that was filled with a pleasant atmosphere.

“School seems like it will be…interesting, and now that I have you as a friend it will only make things more pleasant for me,” You said softly full of enthusiasm. 

“Maybe… I can adapt into Midgardian life…” you said just barely above a whisper. The very idea confused you, made you conflicted, even disturbed you. You still weren’t ready to give up your Asgardian life and you weren’t sure if you ever would be, but at least with Peter Ned and Michelle at your side, it wouldn’t be as terrible as you initially thought.

“Hey, if I can survive high school right now, then so can you,” Peter said placing a hand on your shoulder.

Everything stopped for a moment as your eyes landed on his hand and quickly followed his arm up to his brown eyes. You felt your chest clench with the sweet sincerity of his words, though you would never tell him. 

“We’ll do it together! But like not tomorrow because it’s the weekend,” He said his teeth glimmering when he smiled. When he took his hand back you could still feel his touch on you. You pursed your lips tightly together.

“Will you be going then?” You asked softly. “I would hate to be alone here in case Loki and Thor have to leave,” Peter shook his head happily.

“I’ll be here for tomorrow, then I have to get back to my Aunt May,” he explained. “But hanging out in the tower is definitely going to be fun!! I only get to stay over if something’s really going wrong on Earth so it’s sort of like a vacation I guess?? Everything’s so expensive here and Mr. Stark lets me order pizza for dinner with WHATEVER toppings I want,” He said happily as if he were thinking about the pizza now.

“Pizza?” You asked with a small tilt of your head.

His eyes widened in shock and horror. “Oh my god you did not just say that,”

Part 4

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[meetmeinthepit-fightme]

SF9 aka Sensational Feeling 9

 @lee-dongmins said they wanted to get to know sf9 so i guess here’s a basic guide to these sweet dumb boys whom i love

ok so sf9 is a 9 member boy group formed by FNC Entertainment (f.t.island, n’flying, cnblue, aoa) at the end of 2k16 on a survival show called Dance or Band, where they went up against another group of fnc trainees that were in a band (who would later debut under fnc as Honeyst).

On the show they were known as Neoz Dance and they have whole bunch of dope af covers on the neoz youtube channel.  They won the survival show by performing a song they wrote and choreographed called K.O. and it would later be included on their debut single album.  

Before debut the members all acted in a web series called Click Your Heart, with 4 of the boys playing main characters (Dawon, Rowoon, Zuho, and Chani) and the others playing minor characters.  It’s pretty small, just 7 episodes that are at most like 15 minutes and it’s a kind of choose your own ending because you can choose who the main girl winds up with out of the 4 main boys.

October 2016 they debuted with Fanfare (a solid bop but pretty average in the grand scheme of the music scene at the time but the dancing is hella good see above gif) and in December they put out a special mv for their song So Beautiful they made for Click Your Heart (it’s genuinely so sweet and filled with holiday cheer and absolutely zero rudeness, something that only it out of all the sf9 mvs can boast).

February 2017 they had their first comeback with Roar (a delightfully saturated mv that we soon learned was the staple of an sf9 mv and with the catchy whisper line of bureureung aka roar/rev the engine that nearly everyone mistakes as something like ‘put it in’ the first time they hear it).

April 2017 we were graced with their second comeback of Easy Love (truthfully this was the first mv of theirs i ever saw and i was hooked).  It was the last of their mini albums to have the whole ‘sensation’ motif in the title.

October 2017 was their third comeback with O Sole Mio (they went to california to film at least parts of the mv and wow is it fucking gorgeous and the chorus has like 4 different languages in it so wow talented boys).

February of 2018 was their fourth comeback with Mama Mia! (aka pls stop putting dreadlocks on these poor kids and pls let them be playful more often in things also what a freakin happy bop).

August 2018 was their fifth comeback with Now or Never.  It has the classic saturation of a sf9 mv and a smooth sound that makes it perfect for easy listening or hype music.  It can sound like the world Jealous is repeated throughout the song but it’s actually Jilleosseo which is the title of the song in korean. (I believe this also the first mv with all members being 18 internationally and they’ve definitely got a more mature visual thing going on.)

They’ve released Japanese versions of all their title tracks with accompaning mvs and some of their B-sides.

With every promotion cycle they also release a self cam of one of their B-sides that is pretty much just the boys being dorks lipsyncing the song and playing around with each other and it’s a beautiful little treat that fills Fantasy (aka fandom name) with warmth.  I do believe these are all of them:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhcVOc-T-EQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1PgetiyY2Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBHu2M7fT6w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J76f1Lzbng4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdrSmZVDvfs

They are super fucking funny and here’s a ‘guide’ to them that has some classic clips: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEIeNG4qUXE

And this is them on the Immigration and it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen an idol group be on: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8JkUfMRGC4

Members:

Youngbin: ‘93 Leader, Rapper, basically a dad in that he tells those jokes and is a source of comfort and stability for the members and always has some kind and wise words to give them, would really love it the members would stop shying away from skinship (Chani it’s always Chani), a flirt?(warning alot of them are flirts).

Inseong: ‘93 Vocalist, Oldest, a complete dweeb and we love him for it, speaks pretty good english because he studied in England for a year and is a smooth operator, was an SM trainee, calls himself a desert fox and is pretty smart, did some acting in a drama, part of what i’m gonna call the flirt line.

Jaeyoon: ‘94 Vocalist, OST veteran, dimples, thinks his butt is great and like he’s not wrong, is in charge of having the Honey Voice and can sing any song in a sweet way, knows poisonous plants and animals, wow look at that one whole flirt.

Dawon: ‘95 Vocalist, Sub-rapper after Mama Mia!, the 4D personality, was on masked idol on weekly idol for awhile and when sf9 went on weekly idol he nearly gave himself away cause he can’t stop being hilarious, a regular member of SBS’ Game Show, flirt line.

Zuho: ‘96 Rapper, does alot of writing and composing for their songs sometimes with Youngbin and Hwiyoung, trained for 8 years before debut, is the classic looks tough but is a cinnamon roll who loves cuddling, the members say he’s most charismatic of them all, is friends with suga (he’s my bias and i have to stop myself from gushing about how sweet and talented he is).

Rowoon: ‘96 Vocalist, Visual, is basically the face of the group and is on shows like Lipstick Prince and does acting in some dramas, likes making sure the other members are cared for, really likes giving affection to Chani (who is never too delighted by this) and Zuho (who is super delighted by this), a pretty flirt.

Taeyang: ‘97 Vocalist, Visual, DANCER like hot fucking damn is this boy a dancer, he and Rowoon are most often the center of dances and it’s fucking because he is an amazing dancer and works so super hard at being good, he is also literal sunshine.

Hwiyoung: ‘99 Rapper, Sub-vocalist, somehow ends up the brunt of poor luck, studies hard, very emotional and openly admits to crying at Train to Busan even though no one asked him, called the Happy Virus, can wiggle his ears, does kick boxing and will kick you in the butt if you ask.

Chani: ‘00 Rapper, Vocalist, Maknae, child actor, used to be Fantagio trainee, childhood friends with Moonbin and Chanwoo from iKon, actor now and wow the kid’s got some heckin movies under his belt, would really like for people to think that he’s cool pls.

[nootvanlis]

My thoughts on the Freelancers Anonymous movie ✨ It’s kind of long and spoilery so it’s under a read more.

Intro.

Overall I’ve got mixed reviews about it.  Particularly with the characters and the comedy.  I’m particularly picky about comedy because I don’t laugh at things easily so while the audience laughed at some things, I remained silent.  I hate when things are advertised as “comedy” and it wasn’t funny (obviously in my opinion since comedy can be subjective) *cough cough Almost Adults* but it did manage to make me laugh and it was light hearted and fun.  Its best quality is that it’s very female forward/empowering (there’s also only 1 guy in the cast and he never talks).  The app is actually a very a good idea and I’m glad it’s going to become a reality.  What a great way to advertise a product; turn it into a movie 😂 Honestly, I’d actually bare to rewatch it again and laugh at somethings again 👌OK AND OBVIOUSLY NATASHA WAS A STAR 💖

Gayle

First topic, Natasha as Gayle because I love talking about her.  Her character was cute, very genuine, but of all the characters I felt that Gayle was very “vague.”  Sure she was quirky and determined but of all the characters, she felt the least fleshed out.  Everyone had qualities that stood out and had grown throughout the movie but Gayle was just there, being her cute quirky determined self (she did stand up for herself when her mom was questioning her life though which is relatable).  Which actually made her feel very real but surrounded by a bunch of comical characters, it felt kind of off for her to be there.  She can kind of come off whiny (maybe it’s the way Natasha does her voice for Gayle) which kind of made me cringe or meh, but yet I’m still attracted to it LMAO But this is all my opinion of course, maybe I’m just picky.  

Whoever put Gayle in thigh highs and a garter belt, I hope they have a beautiful life.  As for the rest of her outfits, they were a hit or miss.  Sometimes, Gayle looked older, sometimes she looked young.  Gayle’s casual outfits at home were honestly some of her best looks.  Also Gayle in a wedding dress 💖

Gayle was a woman of many talents; she was an online cabaret singer, read erotic novels, and angrily tap dances (that was fucking amazing to watch 😂).  How Natasha managed to pull all that off is worth praising d:  Especially the tap dancing.  Because of how quirky Gayle was, these all come off as comedic but I honestly believe Gayle was making bank on these weird ass jobs with the way Natasha portrayed her XD  Gayle’s moans were TOP NOTCH and my ears and other regions tingled.  Sign me the fuck up for those hetero ass erotic audiobooks.  Anyways... in a way, the movie was also praising the arts as a viable choice of career.

Other than her rift with her fiancee, Gayle’s conflict was with her mom who wanted her to find a “real” job.  I thought all that was very relatable and was handled and resolved very well.  A little rushed but it fit in with the plot so it was fine.  The only other person Gayle communicated with other than her mom and Billie was the wedding planner, Patty.  

Story/Plot/Comedy

The story, while very basic, wasn’t boring at all.  It’s a bunch of jobless women who make an app together.  The story flowed very nicely but I found the beginning to drag and the movie really started to pick up in the last 30 min (which was the wedding/launch party scene).  The jokes became more organic towards the end where in the beginning, they felt kind of forced.  I also think a lot of things were resolved too quickly which I’ll talk about later.  Especially in the last 5 min.  The comedy was good and bad in some parts and when it’s good, you’re laughing out loud.  When it’s bad, it feels very forced where at times I felt I had to force myself to laugh because the audience was laughing and questioned whether it was supposed to be a joke.

Billie

Oh boy do I have a lot to say.  Billie was unlikeable which is unfortunate since she’s the main character.  Her relationship with the FA peeps were more believable and genuine than her relationship with Gayle, who was her FIANCEE.  Her and the group dynamic was actually endearing.  You want to cheer them on.  She wasn’t reprimanded for the shit she tried to pull off.  It all worked out in the end (obviously since she’s the main character and it’s a comedy) but I felt like she didn’t deserve the good ending.  She hasn’t made up for it.  She took the money that someone gave to her to help launch the app and spent it on the wedding so that Gayle wouldn’t be suspicious that she was still unemployed.  THEN, she booked her app’s launch party THE SAME TIME AS THE WEDDING TO SAVE MONEY WTF.  You’re marrying the love of your life and you want to split your time with that and your career?  I get that she’s unemployed also probably having a mid life crisis and that she finally got something going for the app but it’s just unreasonable.  Of all the characters, I found her to be the least funniest.  The thing is, she wasn’t an asshole, she actually cared too much.  She was just trying to make everyone happy.  I just didn’t like the way she went about it AND THEN made the same mistake again.  Her priorities were all over the place.  When she needed to focus on the wedding, she was focussing on the app + FA peeps and vice versa.

Billie and Gayle

The one thing I can say about their relationship was it felt unbelievable.  I believe Gayle loved her but not the other way around.  Gayle was very understanding of Billie’s unemployment and even went out to seek another job.   If anything, I felt like Billie just tolerated Gayle.  Hell, even Billie has better chemistry with her rival than her fiancee.  I just felt like Billie didn’t prioritize her enough.  She prioritized the wedding, but it felt insincere and only did it because she had to.  I honestly believe Billie would put the app before her own fiancee.  At one point, I thought they were going to break up, but I remembered it’s a comedy so they obviously wouldn’t.  I even thought they were gonna call off the wedding in the last 5 min of the movie.  Billie was lying throughout the whole movie to her fiancee and that just doesn’t sit well with me.  And before anyone asks, yes there were kisses and they were throughout the movie.  Nothing too wild.  Still felt like Gayle were into the kisses more than Billie.  One thing I commend about their relationship;  Very normal.  Very realistic. Typical couple shit.  Just like how I felt Gayle’s character, it felt very lacking in a cast full of unique characters.  But I also think it’s nice to see a normal healthy lesbian relationship being portrayed without any strange gimmicks.  They fought, they had cute moments, they had random conversations, they had dinner at home that Gayle cooked, they had to deal with mother in laws, they had to deal with changes etc. and they did it all together like normal relationships.

Freelancers Anonymous

I felt the movie really shined (other than Natasha) when it came to these unique characters that Billie met.  However, they almost seemed like overgrown children that became more likeable as the movie went on.  Like, literally give the script to children/teens and it’d still make sense.  I actually found them all very stereotypical and annoying at the beginning and in the end, I really liked the group dynamic.  Them as individual characters wouldn’t stand out so it was good that they were together as group throughout the whole movie.  While Billie’s relationship with Gayle was dull, I found her relationship with them to be endearing and genuine.  It grew and progressed organically and I believe that Billie’s friendship and business with them will be long lasting and successful, unlike with Gayle.

The wedding planner, Patty, was supposed to be a stereotypical annoying wedding planner but I found that every scene she was in, she shined and made me laugh.  Gayle’s mom was ok but helped with Gayle’s character growth.  Gayle’s mom will be super relatable to a lot of people, especially those working in the arts.

Ending

Like I’ve said, the last 30 min (the wedding/app launch) were the best and I found myself laughing the whole time.  However I’m not satisfied with how quickly it was resolved.  Gayle found out about Billie’s scheme to have the app launch party THE SAME TIME AS THE WEDDING and what happens?  Nothing.  They kiss and the movie ends.  Gayle’s never even met the FA peeps before, so I think I’d be pretty insulted if my NOW WIFE, was also prioritizing a group of people I’ve never met and the app they made during our wedding day.

[thatuncoolasianpotato]

11 Questions

Rules: answer the 11 questions posed by the person who tagged you, then write 11 questions & tag 11 people to answer them.

OOF this took me a long time to finally do ahahaha

Hallooooo !! now I know this is very far from the kind of things i post on Tumblr but my friend @readmancy tagged me and I genuinely enjoy being tagged in stuff so here ya go !!

Questions for me !!

1. When are your most productive hours of the day?

Tbh I’m very inclined to say I have no productive hours of the day because I’m usually always procrastinating AHAHAHAHA but uhhh for weekdays I’d have to say 6-10 PM (or 4 AM when I occasionally have to cram something) and for weekends 11 AM-4 PM

2. What’s something about yourself that you really like and/or are really proud of?

Not gonna lie, I actually had to think about this question for a while. . .

I guess I’d have to say my emotions and my ability to convey them? Usually I really hate it when I get emotional, but I found that when I’m acting (which I find so much fun to do) being really emotional is an absolute must so that makes me kinda good at it !! Also occasionally my singing voice on really good days

3. What tips would you give to someone who has to stay up really late for school-related projects but doesn’t drink coffee?

I actually fall under this category since coffee does not work on me lmao

Here’s the stuff that I usually do (I hope some of them work out for other people out there !!)

Splash some really cold water on your face (sometimes I literally just dab ice on my face ahahaha)

(If you don’t get easily distracted) play some really loud music, TV show, or YouTube video in the background

Eat some chocolate or some other form of sugar

Take a five minute break to do some jumping jacks or do some really energetic dancing

Motivate yourself using fandoms !! (Ex. “If I finish my math hw right now, I bet Pidge would be really proud of me.” • “If Hamilton could write the other 51, I can write the last three pages of this research paper !!”)

Drink lots of water

Take 10-15 minute naps after completing a certain amount of work (BUT MAKE SURE TO GET BACK UP AGAIN)

4. What do you listen to when you study?

I listen to this playlist I made that consists of instrumental songs/piano covers (so I don’t get too distracted while studying ahaha). It contains songs from Waitress the Musical, Your Lie in April, Doki Doki Literature Club, Yuri On Ice, Angel Beats, Anohana, Undertale, Dodie Clark, and Liana Flores !!

5. What are you like when you have a serious crush on someone?

OOF I am a total mess omg

I can’t speak when I’m near them (or end up saying something really stupid in a futile attempt to impress them), I freak out over every little thing they say or do to me and spend up to weeks overthinking and over analyzing it, i daydream A LOT, I write about them A LOT A LOT, I plan to low key give them things or do something to express my attraction towards them but in a super subtle way but I usually just end up chickening out, I talk about them to all my friends (and apparently if I really like them enough I start blushing like crazy)

So uuhhhh yea,,,,

6. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever done to you?

So many people have done so many nice things to me that I really wouldn’t be able to determine the nicest thing ever.

But the one that immediately came to mind when I read this question was this one time my best friend helped me out when my house almost burned down on my birthday. I was a complete mess and I couldn’t stop crying because my house might burn down and on my special day no less. My best friend’s mom came over to me and asked if I wanted to stay over at their house first (since we were neighbors back then). At their house, they ordered pizza in honor of my birthday and we watched movies and played and joked around a lot. My best friend and her whole family made me feel so much better and they genuinely made me forget about all the stress I was feeling at that time :))

(Also if anyone’s curious, my house didn’t actually get burned down BUT it was very close to)

7. Why did you join Tumblr and is it still the same reason you’re still here?

Well,,, I joined Tumblr because I wanted to find a place where I could find people who had the same interests and fandoms as me !! I also really wanted to see some really cool fan art and read some amazing head canons and fanfics. Oh and a lot of my friends had Tumblr and I was just really curious about what all the hype was about.

It’s still the same reason, although my blog has become ahmm way more Voltron & Plance-centric that I intended it to be AHAHAHAHAHA

8. What’s your favorite soda?

Hmm I’d have to say either Coke or Royal

9. What makes you weird?

Uhhhhh,,, I used to think I was a really weird person but then I interacted with people on the internet and I realized what I thought was weird about me wasn’t actually that weird or that some people were way way way weirder (and I generally mean weird in a really nice way !!) so um idk if any of these things are really that weird:

I am allergic to dogs but I own one and I will absolutely pet yours and hang out with them even if that means that my allergies will attempt to kill me later on

No matter what is happening, I will leave a room if someone mentions “mangoes” or “Havana” starts playing

No matter the context, I will start laughing so loud if anyone says “watermelon” or says “You’re cute, but you’re not my type”

When I find something really really really funny, I start crying

I talk to myself A LOT and I’m pretty sure people question my sanity because of that

I feel really bad about calling anything “it” *cough* because of DBH *cough* also I apologize to inanimate objects profusely when I hit into them

I get really triggered by colors ((I blame Voltron for this one))

10. Where do you like staying that’s all yours?

I guess I’d have to say my room. I don’t really have any other place that’s completely mine. It’s cozy and is one of the only places where I can genuinely be alone in my house.

11. How many things do you know how to ride?

Um,, cars, trains, and jeepneys so three things (yesh, Idk how to ride a bike,,, embarrassing, I know)

Questions for you !!

1. What’s your favorite book quote ?

2. Stargazing or cloud gazing ?

3. Sunrise or sunset ?

4. What’s an object that reminds you of home ?

5. What’s your opinion on handwritten notes ?

6. Who are the people that inspire you the most ?

7. What‘s the funniest/most creative ship name you’ve ever heard ?

8. Song that you will always dance/sing along to, no matter what ?

9. Hobby that you’ve never tried, but really really want to?

10. Would you rather swim in the ocean or in a freshwater river/lake ?

11. If you could live in one fictional universe, which one would you pick ?

Tag, you’re it

((Oof i don’t know enough people to tag 11 people ahahahaha))

@starsofaurora

@neutraladvocate

@misoan

@cxmp-14

@sirkookiekat

@ anyone who sees this and wants to do this, you’re very much welcome to do this !! <3

[btvs]

two types of the signs, mostly based on people i know

aries:

type 1 - “i’m an aries!”, loud, starts driving before everyone has their seatbelt on (or before people even get in the car), loves cooking but usually just buys everything from the store and pretends they put hard work into it, hard to tell if they’re stupid or smart.

type 2 - takes 100 selfies in a row, does really cool makeup, doesn’t believe in school, “this musical artist is SO under appreciated.”

taurus:

type 1 - down to earth, has neat handwriting and doodles in class, patient, bird-lover, likes making flower crowns, laughs a lot.

type 2 - show-off, amazing memory, can be an edgy people-hater, loves yelling, gives people weird nicknames.

gemini:

type 1 - two-faced, feels like they need something in return for their actions, cares more about bagels than people, the friend who everyone worries about.

type 2 - loves reading, kind and supportive but awkward about it, the type of person you call when you need advice, snappy when they’re being interrupted, watches 5 tv shows at a time.

cancer:

type 1 - down for literally any adventure, cries or has a breakdown while eating, doesn’t realize some things they do are harmful to themselves but can sense when others have a problem.

type 2 - talks very fast, takes on any task without a problem, loves talking about themselves, can probably do 10 backflips in a row, moody, sends smiley emojis in every text message.

leo:

type 1 - attention-seeking, wants everyone to respect them, says “lol” out loud, laughs at their own stories but sometimes forgets to listen to others, animal lover, a good role model.

type 2 - genuinely cares about their friends and checks up on them always, super chill and easygoing, fashionable, gives great hugs, someone you go to when you’re sad.

virgo:

type 1 - shy, gentle, awful at explaining things and you really never know what they’re talking about, offers everyone gum, knows all the lyrics to every song they listen to.

type 2 - anxious about tiny things but ignores huge problems, cares so much about others that it gets annoying, likes to redecorate or organize their room for fun, loans you a pencil and forgets to ask for it back.

libra:

type 1 - movie expert, likes when people laugh at their jokes, untrustworthy but somehow you trust them anyway, casually shares deep secrets or personal information randomly like it’s no big deal.

type 2 - doesn’t like opening up or sharing feelings, artistic and individualistic, doesn’t have problems with anyone or anything.

scorpio:

type 1 - calm/quiet and very open minded, loves the ocean, nice but when provoked they turn into a whole other person (who is terrifying), very passionate about their interests.

type 2 - doesn’t ever know what’s happening, suspicious and questions others’ motives, either loves someone or hates them, never shares secrets. ever.

sagittarius:

type 1 - plays at least 3 musical instruments, likes being right, theater kid, extrovert one minute and introvert the next, opens up to others and immediately regrets it.

type 2 - angsty teen attitude, has strong opinions, blames problems on others, maybe has a heart deep down?

capricorn:

type 1 - makes fun of everything, the most extroverted friend, pretends like they don’t care about others’ opinions but deep down is extremely self-conscious, forgetful, funniest jokes.

type 2 - honestly? a real fucking pain in the ass.

aquarius:

type 1 - feminist, nature lover and very free spirited, knowledgeable and factual, has a silly side, cool hair, can listen to all your problems but will never know what to say.

type 2 - can be cold but they are just trying to protect themselves, has one character/idol that they would literally die for, has probably made up all of the funny stories they tell because they want others to like them.

pisces:

type 1 - extremely honest but can doubt their beliefs since they try to get along with everyone, generous when it comes to material but will not give up themselves to others.

type 2 - understanding, shy extrovert, great with advice but doesn’t know how to take other people’s advice (asks for help but doesn’t want to), never fully present or in the moment.

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior Home and Quibi Edition July 17, 2020: WE ARE FREESTYLE LOVE SUPREME, DIRT MUSIC, THE PAINTED BIRD and More!

Apologies for being a day late with this week’s column... things came up. 

Since this is a relatively quieter week, at least compared to last week,  I want to talk about something that’s been getting a lot of ridicule and unwarranted hatred in recent months, and that is something called Quibi, and so…

IN PRAISE OF QUIBI

You know, I’ve heard a lot of shit-talking about Quibi for one reason or another.  I think it’s mostly the “too cool for school” #FilmTwitter kids, who haven’t even bothered to watch half the programming and content on the streaming platform – which has absolutely nothing to do with movies, mind you -- so they honestly have no fucking idea what they’re talking about. Sure, I understand the trepidation… short programs that you watch on your phone? Why would anyone get behind that? I mean, everything needs to be a 3 ½ hour Martin Scorsese movie that needs to be seen on the biggest screen possible, right?

Well, no. You see, CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg saw how successful YouTube was with their model – maybe not necessarily their original programming – and he figured he could do them one better. Instead of following the normal TV model of 22 to 60 minutes episodes, he decided to make every episode under 10 minutes. Maybe this seems weird to many people but if you watch any commercial network television, that’s actually the norm. All programs are broken up into smaller increments to allow for the commercials, and the smart shows time those breaks with mini-cliffhangers that makes the viewer want to return after the commercial break rather than switching the station. For the comedies and dramas, it just means you can watch as many episodes as you want without investing the hours involved with binging most shows. You can watch a lot of a series in an hour or more, and you’ll know right away if it’s for you. (There are some I really didn’t like at all such as Dummy and a few others.)

The big problem is that we really shouldn’t be looking at Quibi as an attempted competitor to Netflix, Hulu or any of the other streaming services. Quibi isn’t meant to be for watching movies or to be watched on the biggest screen possible. It’s quick, short bytes of entertainment similar to what you might normally watch on YouTube, but with actual programming. It’s a service geared towards people who don’t have 8 hours a day to binge-watch shows and maybe just want something to watch on a 5 or 10-minute break from sitting at their computers working. (That’s another good reason why having to be viewed on a phone/tablet makes it a good way to take a break from the computer.)

I totally understand some of the trepidation based on the early programming, because I haven’t found much in the narrative realm that has jumped out at me. I like Will Forge and Caitlyn Olsen’s Flipped, since it stars two of the funniest people on television, and the second story on Sam Raimi’s United States of Horror was far better than the first one. I also found a great guilty pleasure in shows like Chrissy’s Court and Dishmantled, each which put a spin on favorite TV genres, the court and cooking shows, both which are hilarious. I binged both of those series, which are about 10 to 12 episodes in a little over an hour, and Reno 911 and Jason Reitman’s The Princess Bride adaptation have been some great recent additions to the service.

The reason why you should be watching Quibi is for the daily programming, which is every bit on par with anything currently on television, mainly because Quibi has joined forces with some of the best news sources and content creators. For instance, the BBC show, Around the World with host Ben Bland, takes all of the great news from the BBC and puts together a daily six-minute “montage” of the most important news from outside the United States. There’s also NBC’s The Report, which offers two episodes on weekdays – the Morning and Evening Report – and two Weekend Reports, and it’s solid news reporting but also nothing that outlasts its welcome like the normal 24-hour news.

Then there’s so much other great programming, including Answered by Vox with host Cleo Abram, where you can learn about so many relevant and timely topics, and it’s become a particularly beneficial during the COVID pandemic. I have to admit that when I first started watching this, I was kind of amused by Abram’s twitchy interviews where she seemed unsure of herself, but over the course of the last couple months, her bubbly personality has really come out, as she’s tackled topics of special interest to herself. Quibi has rightfully been promoting the heck out of the show by advertising it on other shows. I also am impressed by the topics Shan Boodram covers on Sexology, an extremely candid and honest discussion of what some might consider taboo topics.

Similarly wonderful to watch every day is EW’s Last Night Late Night with Heather Gardner, which sums up the previous night’s late night shows – the best jokes, the best bits from the interviews, performances etc. – and there’s also Rotten Tomatoes’ Fresh Daily with Maude Garrett, which gives you a look at the best things to watch on streaming and digital on a day-to-day basis. (For full transparency, a person I greatly respect and one of the few I genuinely like in the industry, Mr. Simon Thompson, writes and produces the show.)  Video game fans may enjoy Polygon’s Speed Run, although it recently changed format and is now three days a week, rather than five, and each episode is now on one subject rather than the segment format previously used. I hope this isn’t a sign of Quibi or these companies trying to save costs because there’s some nervous about the platform lasting.  

Personally, I love Quibi, and I didn’t even hesitate for a second to shell out the $5.30 a month (including tax), mainly for the daily programming. Honestly, I really hope that we’ll get more of Chrissy’s Court and Dishmantled, and I hope to eventually get to some of the shows I haven’t watched, as well. (I’ve had a few issues with streaming and buffering in the last week, which I hope Quibi will resolve, because it’s very frustrating to sit down for my daily watches and just get the spinning ball repeatedly.)

Anyway, let’s get to the movies… and is it possible that Hulu may be receiving the coveted “Featured Flick” two weeks in a row? Certainly looks like it. If you’re trying to figure out what to watch after watching Hamilton on Disney+ for the 20th time, how about going back to the very beginning?

Andrew Fried’s doc WE ARE FREESTYLE LOVE SUPREME (Hulu) looks back at how Wesleyan alum Thomas Kail and Anthony Veneziale put together the group of improvisational performers that would include one Lin-Manuel Miranda. I was lucky enough to know about Freestyle Love Supreme way back when they were starting out, since a good friend of mine managed the East Village club, Mo Pitkins, where the group frequently performed. I knew pretty early on how much talent Miranda had from seeing him perform. Make no mistake that this is not a movie only about Miranda, as it’s as much or more about Kail and Venziale’s efforts to keep the group’s shows happening while Miranda is pulled away to do In the Heights on Broadway, and then ultimately doing his magnum opus, Hamilton.  

For some reason, I thought this doc would mainly be about the idea of bringing Freestyle Love Supreme back for its limited stint on Broadway, but it goes all the way back to the beginning and how they met and came together, plus how they found new members to fill in for Miranda and Christopher Jackson when they went to Broadway.  Freestyle Love Supreme is a pretty amazing group because as the name implies, they’re a bunch of freestyle rappers who improvise every show based on things they get from the audience, but it also allows them to explore their own personal lives and histories and incorporate them into each show. I’m actually a little bummed I never got a chance to see it even though I’ve known about them since the early ‘00s. This doc might feel a little long even at under 90 minutes, but it’s worth sticking with since they’re such an interesting group and the combination of performances and interviews makes it a fine doc about these amazingly talented individuals and how the sum is bigger than the whole of the parts.

Another long-gestating project that has finally seen the light of day is the romantic drama DIRT MUSIC (Samuel Goldwyn), based on Tim Winton’s popular Australian novel that people have been trying to adapt since back when Heath Ledger was still alive. I believe Russell Crowe had been trying to adapt it, too. It stars Kelly Macdonald, who I’ve loved since her first appearance in Trainspotting and who I’m always hoping will find some of those great roles we see other actors her age getting. (Sorry, but Puzzle just wasn’t one of them.)  In Dirt Music, she plays Georgie, a woman living with fisherman Jim Buckridge (David Wenham), a widowed father with two sons, although they’re not married. When Georgie begins a relationship with troubled local musician Lu Fox (Garrett Hedlund), it causes problems within the tight-knit community, but instead of getting into a confrontation with Jim, Lu runs off.

I actually quite enjoyed this drama, partially because it marks the return of Gregor Jordan, an Australian filmmaker who has quite a few decent movies under his belt, including an earlier Ned Kelly movie. It is a little hard to figure out what is happening, partially from the accents but also from the decision to tell the story in a non-linear fashion that isn’t always apparent where each of the characters are in the story. Obviously, a major thing to pay attention to is how great Macdonald and Hedlund are in their roles in this possibly unlikely romance. You can totally see Ledger in the role of Lu, and the fact that Hedlund is so good should help you appreciate him more as an actor. Macdonald also still has this youthful energy despite being in her ‘40s, and that gives their relationship something akin to her relationship with McGregor in Trainspotting.

What really captured my attention was the gorgeous music by the Fox family, and I was even more  impressed to learn that the actors – Julia Stone, George Mason, Neill Maccoll, and yes, Garrett Hedlund – all performed their own vocals in the songs, which includes a gorgeous version of Tim Buckley’s “Song of the Siren” (famously covered by This Mortal Coil). Frankly, I’m most surprised by the fact that Hedlund had musical talent I never knew about, and you can combine that with the emotion he brings to Lu with very few words, and you have another example of why Hedlund just isn’t getting the credit as an actor he deserves. I really liked the way this story was unfolded and where it ended, and I hope we’ll see more great work like this from Jordan.

I was a little more tentative about Wetlands director David Wnendt’s THE SUNLIT NIGHT (Quiver Distribution), which was adapted by Rebecca Dinerstein from her own novel, but not only because it premiered at Sundance way back in early 2019. If you’ve been reading the past few months of columns, you’ll know that there are a lot of recurring themes of movies that play at Sundance, and this one stars Jenny Slate, who had such an impact at Sundance with the movie Obvious Child, which I really didn’t like.  Yeah, I’m not really a fan, even though I like her in smaller roles like her role in Gifted a few years back. In this one, Slate plays Frances, a New York artist, whose parents are about to break up and looking for a change, she accepts an internship with an artist in Northern Norway where the day lasts for months.  It’s a pretty obvious “fish-out-of-water” comedy premise like one we may normally see at Sundance, but it never really delivers on  

Probably my favorite part of the movie was seeing David Paymer as France’s father, mainly because we just don’t see Paymer in many movies these days, but Zack Galifianakis’ character, one of the Norwegians who has an affinity for Vikings, just doesn’t add very much to the story. While I liked the set-up for the movie and Slate is generally likeable in the lead role, the movie just isn’t funny enough to be deemed a comedy nor enough drama to have much of an emotional impact, and the romance between Slate and a local didn’t do much for me either. By the end of the movie, Sunlit Night had veered too far into the most obvious indie territory, so it ultimately fell short for me. I just wish Dinerstein had more (or anything) to say with this story, and I feel like Wnendt and his cast probably did the best they could with what they had to work with.

A movie that’s finally being released after playing a number of festivals last year is the Czech Republic’s 2019 Oscar selection, Václav Marhoul’s THE PAINTED BIRD (IFC Films), based on Jerzy Kosinski’s novel about a young Jewish boy navigating the landscape of WWII-era Eastern Europe all on his own, ending up in one horrifying situation after another.

While this is a beautifully-told story featuring equally beautiful and quite stark black and white cinematography, I can’t wholly recommend it to everyone, because that beautiful camerawork is used to depict some of the most horrible depravity and violence, all experienced by this young boy who just can’t seem to catch a break.

There is very little dialogue in a film that takes an episodic approach to following this young boy’s journey as he either watches horrifying things or is put through grueling torture and even rape as he’s handed and bartered from one adult to another. The “painted bird” of the title is a literal bird that’s painted to attract other birds that attack it, and it’s clearly meant as an analogy for the boy.

If you’ve watched any Czech films over the years, you’ll know that they’re generally pretty grim (they’re a grim people), and you’ll probably know fairly soon whether you want to sit through the entire 2 ¾ running time to see how this boy fares with everything he faces. (Note: A big deal has been made about some of the more horrifying violence in the movie, but honestly? Being in black and white, it isn’t that gory, and I’ve seen far, far worse. A lot of the worst of it is off-screen and your mind tends to fill in the blanks much like last year’s The Nightingale.)

Barely saying a single word, Petr Kotlár is able to carry the film, and it’s interesting when more familiar actors like Udo Kier, Harvey Keitel, Stellan Skarsgaard, and Barry Pepper are brought into this world Marhoul has created from Kosinski’s book. Like so many other movies right now, it’s a shame this won’t be seen on the big screen where you’re forced to really focus on what you’re watching without distractions.  

The Butterfly Effect writer/director Eric Bress’s latest horror film is GHOSTS OF WAR (Vertical) about a group of American soldiers -- including Brenton Thwaites, Sklar Astin and Theo Rossi -- who travelling across France during WWII when they come upon a French Chateau where they decide to hole up. That is, until they learn there’s a supernatural enemy that may be worse than the Nazis they’re hiding from.  

The premise for Bress’ latest venture into the supernatural is a fairly simple one, and it’s hard not to watch this movie and not think of the far superior Overlord from a few years back. As soon as the soldiers get to the estate, it’s pretty obvious (mainly from the title) where things are going to go from there, and unfortunately, the bland casting doesn’t do very much to elevate that simple premise, the weak writing, and none of it feels particularly scary.  If that general premise doesn’t seem very interesting to you, then Ghosts of War introduces a pretty out-there last act twist that’s either gonna be praised for changing things up or it will be condemned for being so out there. The problem is that the movie just hasn’t built enough good will to earn its twist, and viewers will probably just be even more annoyed by it.

Ghosts of War will be available On Demand, via Virtual Cinema Screenings and digitally after being on DirecTV for the past few weeks.

Down at New York’s Film Forum, you can rent Elizabeth Coffman and Mark doc Flannery (Film Forum), winner of the Library of Congress Lavine/Ken Burns Prize with its look at author Flannery O’Connor. The repertoryVirtual Cinema adds Jean-Luc Godard’s Made in the U.S.A. (1966) and Carl Theodor Dreyer’s Michael (1924), the latter part of the Forum’s “Pioneers of Queer Cinema” program.

Starting on Film at Lincoln Center’s Virtual Cinema this Friday is Koji Fukada’s Mayak (Andreevsky Flah Film Company/Anniko Films), while FilmLinc is also starting its annual Dance on Camera Festival, the 48th edition, although this time virtually.

Available via Film Movement’s Virtual Cinema is Emily Harris’ adaption of Joseph Sheridan le Fanu’s Gothic vampire novella, Carmilla, starring Hannah Rae as 15-year-old Lara who lives in isolation on her family’s country estate with her strict governess Miss Fontaine (Jessica Raine) until a carriage crash brings a mysterious girl into their lives.

Now we’re getting to more movies that I just didn’t find the time to see even though I had screeners for a couple of them, like the latest in Hulu’s popular monthly horror series, INTO THE DARK:  THE CURRENT OCCUPANT, which will hit the streamer this Friday. It’s directed by Julius Ramsay and written by D.C. speech writer Alston Ramsay, taking place in a psychiatric ward where a man trapped with no memory, played by Barry Watson, believes that he’s the President of the United States and the subject of a political conspiracy. No, it’s not a documentary.

Over on Netflix, there’s Catrin Einhorn and Leslye Davis’ doc Father Soldier Son, which follows a former platoon sergeant and his two sons over a decade after his return home from a serious injury in Afghanistan, showing the long-term effects of military service on a family.

Dan Wingate’s doc Kaye Ballard - The Show Goes On (Abramorama) will get a Virtual Cinema release this Friday. I actually am not familiar with the actress, singer and comedian but apparently, she’s had a career that has spanned eight decades, starting in the 40s, and her friends include Ann-Margret, Carol Burtnett, Carol Channing, my good pal Red Reed and more, all of whom are interviewed, along with Ballard.

Also out on Digital this week is Steve Ohi’s sci-fi horror comedy Useless Humans (Quiver Distribution) about a ruthless alien who crashes a 30th birthday party causing four friends to team up to save the world. Will Addison’s Easy Does It (Gravitas Ventures), stars Linda Hamilton, as well as Ben Matheny and Martin Martinez, the latter two as friends who want to escape their Mississippi hometown when they learn there’s a cache of hidden loot in California. Hamilton plays their hometown criminal matriarch “King George” who learns of the money and has her bounty hunter daughter (Susan Gordon) chase the friends down.

On Friday, New York’s Japan Society will kick off its annual “Japan Cuts” program of new and repertory Japanese cinema, and like most other festivals and series this year, it’s going on line, beginning with Shinichiro Ueda’s Special Actors (the Opening Night film), Fukushima 50 (the Centerpiece) and Labyrinth of Cinema, for $7.00 each, which is a pretty good deal. (There’s also a new competitive section called “Next Generation” which focuses on new Japanese talent.) And then for $99, you can get an all access pass to watch all 42 films in the festival, which includes a lot of movies you may never have a chance to see in the States otherwise. You can watch a playlist of trailers from the movies here. All 42 films will be available starting this Friday, so make sure to include this in your weekend plans.

In related news, the New York Asian Film Festival (which cancelled this year altogether) and the Korean Culture Center of New York are teaming once again for Korean Movie Night, this year doing them virtually with a new program called “A League Of Its Own,” which focuse on Hit Korean Baseball Movies, plus there’s a bunch of other Korean films you can watch (FOR FREE!) here until July 25.

Also, if you’re anywhere near some of the drive-ins taking part in Amazon’s summer movie program, you can catch “Movies To Make You Proud” Black Panther and Creed on Wednesday night.

Next week, more movies mostly not in theaters!

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have bothered to read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or drop me a note or tweet on Twitter. I love hearing from readers … honest!